Go ahead. Shut the front door. Now run for it. Sprint your buttocks straight to the sofa.
JUMP!
Whoomphfff.
Have you landed your butt down on the fluffy sofa? Ahhh, good.
Grab a fantabulous book and chillax. That’s what finding the sweet spot in life is all about, my friend.
Whisking your mind off to another place.
Reading a book takes up the loosey goosey messy spaces in your head.
Sometimes you just need to flatline the crap that’s floating around in there.
Shush that hot mess.
My first question to you is very important, and you will be graded*. *snicker*
Do you read books?
Watch out. It’s a trick question.
I have books. Real books. Ones with real paper. I love them on so many levels of lovey dove love.
They also make me feel guilty for not spending enough time with them. Guilty pleasures. They’re on my nightstand … neatly tucked away and holding my bedside lamps … staring at me like little guilt bombs of neatly tucked paper. It’s almost as if they are saying …
” Guuurl, I know I look good. Now read me. The books talk to me like this while snapping their little saucy book finger in a Z formation ”
For the love of books …
When I travel, I take a good book. I carry it around like a suckling newborn baby. Never outta my sight. Not even for a moment, or it will scream at me. Whaaaaaaaa.
The anticipation of doing nothing but hold a book in my hands all day…well.. that’s just blows my mind with bookie freaking excitement.
I lay out my beach towel ~ hide my old lady reading glasses (yes, I’m f’n ancient) under my sunglasses ~ splash on some funky lipstick to distract from my makeup-less face ~ slip on a wide brimmed sun hat and hit the lounge chair like a BOSS. I get lost in the pages until I am 10 minutes away from being a california raisin.
We all need some sunshine, man!
Once in a while, the sun needs to overtake my body like a mood altering drug. Without sun, my bad mood would surely thump someone. My face goes pale and I furrow my eyebrows in bat shit crazy frustration. Someone is most likely to get punched. Even if I just punch them with my eyeballs.
It’s still a punch.
Reading a book forces a chill on. A good chillax.
Press the pause button in life.
Slow it down.
Read a book.
Dollops of Attention
Reading a book, requires every dollop of attention. That’s blissful mind candy. There isn’t space in your head to think about hot flashes, strewn out piles of dishes dripping out of the sink and nagging triple grande sized laundry piles.
There will be none of that.
A book allows us to let it go.
It’s time to let things go to the dogs …
The Dog Year
My pal Ann Wertz Garvin just published her second book called The Dog Year. Holy Batman, it’s a real book.
Cue the relaxation.
The book has real paper <--- I shouted that.
Techno Crazies …
The good news : We are living in an era of technology. Everything is at our fingertips. We can access it at any time.
The bad news : We are living in an era of technology. Everything is at our fingertips. We can access it at any time.
We are all trapped in a straightjacket of techno-confusion. We love technology. We hate technology.
Every once in a while, do you miss the days of kids playing outside until the street lights came on? Oh hells yeah.
My Interview with Ann Wertz Garvin
I first met Ann on twitter. This is how it went :
Ann: I followed Lynne on twitter and tweeted something like “you’re pretty”
Me: I didn’t immediately tweet back. Instead, I cyber stalked her twitter profile video.
I was a smitten kitten. I suddenly had a girl crush. Hard.
I wasn’t sure how to tweet her back. Hmmm. Perhaps…
My tweet : Hi @AnneGarvin I think you are the cats meow. Let’s be BFF’s. No really. I promise I’m not an axe murderer. Are you?
Hey, why not go for it? Could someone like this truly kill me? :
I skipped all the formalities and immediately invited her to my house.
If I’m going to get bludgeoned by a stranger, it might as well be one with a sense of humour and great hair.
I tweeted back to Ann: “Wanna come and play in my treehouse?”
{{ Ann paused for a few seconds to think. Legit. It was seconds. }}
Ann tweeted: I just booked a flight.
Ann: You know how you just know that you’ve found someone from your tribe? That’s how it was with Lynne and me.
Me: That’s exactly what it was like, 3 tweets to besties.
Ann: It was ridiculous. My daughters who are 14 and 16 said, “Mom, aren’t you the one who says we shouldn’t visit someone we meet on the internet?” I compromised and said that I would go visit first and not bring them along until I was sure Lynne wasn’t a serial killer. She wasn’t. Phew.
Me: That’s kind of how you became an author isn’t it? Like many situations, you just throw yourself into it.
Ann: Oh my God, it totally is. I am that regular person who always wanted to write a book but had no skills, no ideas, and no real idea of how it was done. What I did have was a crazy girlish dream of seeing my name on a cover.
Ann: I began the business of learning how to write and publish. I hustled that dream like a shopper at a fire sale who knew her favourite shoes were 50% off and in the bottom of an endless pile of shoes. I was a Badger.
Me: What’s it all about?? Do tell. Do tell.
THE DOG YEAR has a little bit of a lot of things for you.
It’s a story of a person who made good decisions her whole life and who then starts making bad decisions because of grief, life-long insecurities and a little bit of garbage, she’s hung on to since high school (no, this is not an autobiography).
Me: What’s dogs got to do with this story? I’ve seen you with my dog, so I know you love dogs but how do dogs figure in here?
Ann: So here’s the story nobody knows. Fasten your seat belt, we are about to hit some sap in the road.
Ann: I was having a really hard few years. Divorce, mother slipping into dementia, furloughs happening at work and I was feeling kinda rotten. I got a dog. A big dog. My God, this dog liked to run, so off we went to the dog park where I met another tribe member ~ Teri Osgood. She’s a vet and has the kind of humor that makes you feel badly about laughing at her snarky jokes and peeing yourself.
I went to the dog park every day for 2 years and met other lunatic dog people. Then, Teri introduced me to her brother. Oh my God, her brother. Love ensued.
Me : So this book is your story?
Ann: Naw, I totally made it up. The part about dogs being the glue that binds us… well that part is true.
I like to write stories about life. I always say the definition of life is: long periods of monotony and body maintenance punctuated by occasional moments of glory and despondency.
The book is about friends, strangers and yes dogs who become more than just friends, strangers and dogs.
They become family…
Life savers …
Oxygen.
{{ Big kisses to you, my friend Ann!! Thank you for letting me interview you. I luvs ya. I really do }}
How to buy Ann’s books :
You may buy Ann’s first book On Maggie’s Watch by clicking here.
Ann’s new book, The Dog Year may be purchased here.
You can find Ann on her gorgy gorgeous website here.
WHAT’S NEW WITH YOU?
Tell me about your fave book. I need a few more books to stare me down. 🙂
