Guess what? I have a DELISH cranberry sauce recipe for you made with maple syrup.  The real deal stuff.  None of that Aunt Jemima crap. I’m calling bullshit on Aunt Jemima.  Bullshit.

Don’t eat that sugar syrup.

That’s gross.

Don’t be that person.

 

 Why Cranberry Sauce with Maple syrup?

 

1.  Because I’m Canadian.

 

2.  Maple syrup is a food-gasm.

 

3.   Canadians already HAD Thanksgiving which means we can now share our screwed up perfectly practiced awesome recipes with Americans and the rest of the world.

 

4.   I am only sharing this cranberry sauce recipe so you are truly prepared for a blog recipe next week of AWESOME mind blowing Cranberry Orange Muffins.  T’die for.  People will trample down your front door for the muffin recipe.

 

Just sayin’.

You’ve been warned.

Fair and square.

 

On to more important matters first…….

Who was the bozo who decided that American and Canadian Thanksgiving should be on two separate dates ?

What the what what ??!!!

 

Did they just want to mess with us ?

 That’s cruel.

 They are Thanksgiving Jack Asses.

P.S. Please don’t tell my mother that I swore on the blog again.

I feel a soap in the mouth washing coming on.

 

Did you know?….

• American Thanksgiving is on the 4th Thursday in November.

 

Whaaatuppp??!

• Canadian Thanksgiving is on the 2nd Monday in October.

 

That is like saying :

Thanksgiving will be on the 4th Sunday in November if you have a strong preference for Turkey.   If you prefer chicken, Thanksgiving will be on the 3rd Saturday of October.  If you are actually a vegetarian, well then… your Thanksgiving will be celebrated on the 2nd Tuesday of November.  Unless it is a leap year.  In which case, you are screwed.

Life is complicated enough. I still have no idea how to get a lid off a pickle jar without beating the crap out of it.  Whattup with complicating life with Thanksgiving date differentials ??!!!  We are all in NORTH AMERICA people….helloooo…. let’s have one Thanksgiving date.  Thank you very much.  What’s next? Christmas in January?  Oh shudder.

 

 

 

Dear Thanksgiving decision makers,

Please make Thanksgiving the same date all over North America.

Signed,

Bewildered (and of course, with THANKS)

 

 

 

How should we get around such complex problems?  Celebrate Thanksgiving TWICE.  Oh hells ya.  Any excuse to celebrate with a huge turkey dinner, pumpkin pie and waaaaaay too much whipping cream, is just fine fine fine.  Right?  Right.  So let’s do it TWICE.

 

Then we can do the infamous couch flop.

Turkey + cranberry sauce + stuffing + potatoes + 29 indulgent desserts = COUCH FLOP

 

Oh yah.  Life is good when that kind of dinner hits your belly.  You will feel like a pregnant smurf after Thanksgiving dinner.  A blissful pregnant smurf.

 

The only thing that could top that kind of dinner would be dual citizenship.  If one had dual citizenship, does that mean that they would officially get Thanksgiving dinner TWICE ?!!

 

If so, I am suddenly a dual citizen.  Stamped it.

 

 

If you are CANADIAN…then you know….THANKSGIVING WAS GREAT.

 

Dear Americans,

THANKSGIVING WAS GREAT.

Love,

The Canadians xx

P.S. We thought we would let you know in advance.

 

 

To everyone else in the world, you should celebrate Thanksgiving anyway.  It’s a hoot.   Give it a try.  It’s a full day of food-gasms.

Cranberry sauce is so freaking easy to make, I have no idea why people buy it in a can.  I lie. When cranberries just aren’t available I buy them in a can. I should have whispered that statement.  A cranberry sauce sinner.  Shhhhhhh. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

 

 

Why give you a cranberry recipe this week?

 

1.   So you can dazzle your family with your kitchen prowess.

 

2.  To arm you with extra cranberry sauce for next weeks recipe of Orange Cranberry Muffins.

 

3.  Need a way to get rid of all your extra cranberry sauce??  This is it.

 

4.   You will want to stock up on about 50 bags of cranberries NOW while you can get them.

 

5.  Cranberries freeze brilliantly.

 

 

Every time I go to the freezer, I think of a certain joke.  I thought I would share it so the joke can be stuck in your head too.  Why go to the freezer bored?

 

 Freezer Joke  :

 

A man bought a parrot. He quickly discovered that the parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. He tried everything but couldn’t get the parrot to stop  swearing.  Finally, in a moment of desperation, the man put the parrot in the freezer.  For a few moments, he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream. Then, suddenly…there was silence. Not a sound for a half a minute.  The man was frightened that he may have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.  The parrot calmly stepped out onto the man’s extended arm and said  “I’ve learned my lesson.  Can I come out of the freezer now?” So the man let him out. The man was so astonished at the bird’s change in attitude.  He was about to ask the parrot what had caused such a dramatic change when the parrot said :  “May I ask what the chicken did? “

 

 

Quick, go stock your freezer.  STAT.  With Cranberries.

Cranberries are a staple, my friend.

Like rum.

Rum should be a staple in all households.

Salt, pepper, cranberries and rum.

Your life will be complete.

Tadaaahh Thanksgiving.

In your face.

One thing down.

Fifty nine thousand more to go.

What is your fave recipe for Thanksgiving?