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When cancer takes the life of someone you love

 

How do I type the words?

How do I say it out loud?

When cancer steals the life of someone you love, there are no words.

 

NOTHING.

 

Simple words don’t do an entire LIFETIME justice.  Nothing can explain why cancer swoops in….grabs a hold of someone you love….and swallows them whole.

 

NOTHING.

 

It is with deep sadness that we lost my Uncle Marty to cancer yesterday.  You may remember when I wrote about him in this blog post: Dear Cancer, I HATE you and I THANK you.  He was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma just 8 short months ago.  My Uncle Marty was 55 years old.

 

 He was my Dad’s youngest brother.

In these past handful of years, we have lost my Dad and both of his brothers to cancer.  

Three brothers.

 All gone.

Dear Cancer, I HATE YOU.

 

So, I try to write the words.

I try.

I write.

I delete the words.

I write.

I hit the delete button again.

I write.

But there are no words.

Today, I feel defeated by cancer.

Today, cancer won.

My heart feels like a block of lead that I can’t lift off the ground.  The sadness makes me reflect on the loss of my Dad.  I reflect on the fact that so many beautiful souls on this earth are taken away from us by this overwhelming disease.  It is an epidemic of epidemic proportions. It is wrong.  It is so painful.

 

It puts

~ once again ~

a reality check that I look at *every*single*day* in my husband Michael. I pray that cancer will never take him away.  Cancer scares me beyond belief.  It takes my breath away.  It makes me feel so small in a big fight.

The death of my Uncle is a reminder that cancer has no rhyme or reason.

~

Cancer takes aim and shoots.

Without a thought.

Without a care in the world.

It has no feeling.

 It doesn’t care if you are young or old.

Evil or kind.

 It doesn’t care.

 It just takes.

~

How many loved ones does cancer need to take?  It is like an angry dragon of fire that opens its mouth wide and bites with a vengeance. It has no mercy.

Dear Cancer, I HATE you.

 

For those of you who have loved and lost someone to cancer

~  this poem is for you  ~

I don’t have the right words.  I can only share what was once shared with me…..

 ~

We are all creatures of this great earth-

interconnected in ways beyond understanding.

Take ELEPHANTS.

So big.

So strong.

And yet,

when a member

of the herd passes,

even elephants mourn.

They gather around,

extend their trunks,

and gently touch

the tusks

of their fallen friend.

It’s their ritual.

It’s how they heal.

And it’s sad.

And it’s beautiful.

So maybe

what we’re trying to say

is that the world

doesn’t expect you

to be fine with this.

Be how you need to be,

Mourn how you need to mourn.

And know that

you’re thought of

with love.

~

Goodbye Uncle Marty.  May you rest in peace.

Lynne

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