Just for kicks I thought I would wake up and torture myself this morning.   I’m having chocolate for breakfast and spiking my coffee with sugar.

What the what what? Why?  Because the sugar rush of non stop rum punches while on a holiday just isn’t enough sugar!!???  Whaaat?!!  

I’m on vaykay… and slowing practicing how to do nothing and get zero accomplished in a day.

 

This week, I am practicing a new definition of living.

The FU’ness way of living:  The challenge of saying ffffff this.  

Just do it.

Just do nothing.

I’m practicing the art of … pull up a chair.  And sit.  For a long period of time.  Doing absolutely zero.  Nil.  Nada.  Nothing.  Uhhm.  Do you have any idea how hard that is ?!!

It takes serious ass concentration ~  peeps!!   I’m a blogger.  Doing nothing is like asking me to die a thousand deaths of nothingness.  Nearly impossible.  Torturous actually.

As a blogger, our voice is the most powerful tool in the tool shed.  We like to work those vocal cords.  We get naked with our words across the page.   That takes some gutsy.  That takes some time.  That takes a whole lotta of everything.  I personally think that every blogger is a brave soul.  It takes some hootspa to throw words out into cyberspace.

 

 

And sometimes…. just sometimes…. we all need to step back and breathe.  Breathe like a dragon.  Breathe.

Breathe… but not in the direction of work.

Even too much sunshine burns.

 

Taking a break from social media and blogging is good for the soul.  Not gonna lie.  It has made me wonder what I did with my life before I was a blogger.  Or a mother.  Did I just stack up the hours of nothingness?  What the hell did I do with all that time?  Did I freakin’ waste it?  What a turd.  What on Gods green earth was I thinking?!!   I clearly wasn’t thinking straight.

 

 

I needed a vacation.  A vacation from words.  A vacation with too many books and not enough hours in a day.

To do nothing.

Endless days of uselessness.

I stepped away from my computer and jumped into the sea.

Mother nature {normally} hates me.  She punches me in the face all the time.  With snow.  I know.  I know.  How dare she?!!  What audacity.  Not this week.  That snow bitch couldn’t find me anywhere.

I’m hanging out with valium trees palm trees.  If the snow biatch even tries to find me in the British Virgin Islands, I will surely pitch a fit.  Then punch her right back in the face.

This week…Our family of six went on vacation.  Our first tropical vacation together in years.  It has been sooooo long…..I think the last time we did this ~ I was breast feeding.

These days, my breasts are neatly tucked into my waistband.

It has definitely been a long time.

 

 

 

10 Things A Vacation can teach You

 

1.    Laughing with a sunburn is like being stabbed by miniature porcupines.

 

2.   Scuba diving is epic awesomeness and mind*blowingly*scary.. all at once.  I have tried it a few times.  It still scares the crap outta me.  I sent the kids instead.  #WorldsBestAndWorstMomAllAtOnce

 

3.   Snorkelling is dangerously fun.   Exception : when you get salt water up your nose.  Gross.  I surely swallowed fish poop or something.  Definitely gross.

 

4.   Having a sunburn suddenly gives you a mad appreciation of not having one.

 

5.   Rum should be a food staple.  Stocked on all shelves.  At all times.  It just makes everything better.

 

6.   Kids are really funny.  Like rip roaringly funny.  Bust a gut.  Lose your mind.  Funny.  Until someone eats the last potato chip.

 

7.   Watching a turtle swim in the ocean is officially heaven on earth.   I had no idea that turtles need to come to the surface for air.  #I’mAsDumbAsAStick on vacation and I don’t care.  Dumb is the new smart.  I’m going with that.

 

8.   Snorkelling is off the hook awesome.  One problem :  Jaws ruined all chances of relaxation in an ocean.  I can still hear the music as my feet flap in the water.  Shutter.

 

9.   Do not keep beach finds and seashells  in a ziploc baggie for too long.  Customs will think you are exporting a dead body.  Not a good smell.  At all.

*hurl*

 

10.   Tubing behind a dingy… on the ocean… is equivalent to getting a really intense enema.  Same same but different.

 

 

Sometimes we forget that there was life before social media.

Stepping away from social media, when you work in social media is like walking away from… puppies… orphans… cupcakes … and a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  It is almost impossible. It can be tough, peeps !! But in some ways ~ it’s a way to create boundaries for ourselves.   To allow ourselves to just relax.  To give ourselves permission to chillax.

 

 

Recoup.

 

 

Revamp.

 

 

Regenerate.

 

 

Revive.

 

 

 

 

Take another kick at the can.  Even if it is a can of beer.

It’s up to us to step away from our computers and walk down the road.

To put down our iPhone and look up at the sky.

We have to decide to eat the freaking cupcake instead of taking a photograph of it.

It’s up to us to do a project and not think of it as a DIY  { bloggers elbow }

It’s up to us to take an excursion and not document it.

Every thought does not need to be a blog post.

It’s up to us to give ourselves the permission to take a break.  To take a load off.  To breathe.

 

 

It’s up to us to grab the opportunity of an undocumented vacation  { gasp !! }… even if only for a day.

Do you feel like you will go bananas ?  Well at least you are feeling something.

 

 

This week, I’m laying in a hammock even if I have to crochet it myself.  And I won’t post it as a DIY.

This week, I’m holding my babies instead of my iPad.  Even though the thought of leaving my iPad gives me a panic attack.  No kidding.  Weird is the new rad.  I hope.

This week, I will be audacious with calmness….for an hour, a day, or even a few minutes.

I will Breathe.

How about you?

Ahhhhhhh

Over to you… Can you do it?  Can you steal a few moments of calmness ?

 

 

P.S.

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