Have you always thought that most curtain rods are meh? Are your curtain rods worse than bad? Negative good?
*Looks around nervously. Chews thumb.*
Does a curtain rod price tag make your face do this? —> @!!$ ?
Well, cupcake… that’s all about to change.
Wave bye bye to your fugly curtain rods because we are about to get our creative twig mojo on…
Why make your own curtain rods? Because curtain rod prices are off the chart insane.
They’re like a gajillion dollars or something.
Somewhere around $50, I lose consciousness.
S-e-r-i-o-u-s-l-y. Why are they such a stoopid price?
A curtain rod is just a stick pole with two thingies on the end.
It isn’t rocket science.
I digress.
Designing a twig curtain rod is no laughing matter. Okay. It is.
{insert big toothy grin}
If I can do it, you can do it too.
Here’s how to make a curtain rod:
You cut it. You make two brackets to hold it. You put it up on your wall and you yell at the kids to not effing touch it.
It's ART, dammit.
It’s going to be the single most awesome-est thing you’ve ever make. No really.
You can do this.
Do it. do it. do it. <— that was me hypnotizing you.
If I can make a twig curtain rod in the middle of winter … pfffft, then you, my friend… can pretty much do anything.
Like run a marathon.
Yeah.
I think you should run a marathon.
While you’re at it, run to my house. Don’t forget to bring me a hot rum toddy.
Thanks, man.
How to find twigs:
* I channeled everything I learned at Girl Scout camp and started looking for twigs this winter. Yeah. I had to say that again. W.I.N.T.E.R. Ohhh Emmmm Toooo The Geeeeeeh
* The problem is, a farm is not a great place to look for twigs. I mean, it’s not like we have dead tree branches all over the place.
* The forest is also too far away to walk to in the cold. * Soooooo ….I strolled down the driveway. Seriously, that’s like a 10 km walk. I almost died from hypothermia.
The.things.I.do.for.you.
You’re welcome.
I’m coming to your house next time.
Let’s be clear about one teeny weeny detail. If you invite me into your home and show me your fancy schmancy dancy curtain rods …. annnnnnd try to convince me that they are all that and a bag a chips…
I won’t have it.
Never have I ever. Never will I ever.
I’d rather throw myself into a pit of crocodiles. I ain’t gonna listen to your curtain rod rigmarole.
Not.Going.To.Happen.
When I see ugly an ugly, expensive curtain rod ~ it just throws my twig mojo off.
I needed a cigarette and a nap and I don't even smoke.
It’s stressful, man.
I’m calling bullshit on expensive curtain rods. For a hundred bucks, I want LOBSTER. I also want that lobster to be wearing a diamond studded collar.
I know what you are thinking …
I officially pronounce you ridiculous.
Dude. Not for long. You are about to light up your house with twig awesomeness too.
Let’s price this curtain rod, shall we?
Faaahreeee.
That’s a helluva good deal, wouldn’t ya say? Free gets exponentially better when that free something also happens to be gorgy gorgeous.
I prefer gorgeousness.
I also prefer when someone comes to my house to do the dishes.
Just sayin’.
How’d you get me talking about dishes? 🙂
Anyway… if there’s one thing I know about me, it’s that I almost always circle back around to whatever it was I was talking about three topics ago. And I shall do that now.
How to make a Twig Curtain Rod
Step 1 :
Gather your tools. Note: Getting tools organized is like herding cats. Tools are like scissors. You’ll have piles of them but can never find them when you need them. Never mind. You won’t need scissors, you lucky thang.
Here’s what you’ll need …
1. Drill (to pre-drill holes in twig bracket)
2. Screws
3. Garden shears to cut branches
4. A stiff drink (yeah, self explanatory)
For some tools, you can just wing it. Use what you have. It wouldn’t be the first time that you used a butter knife to get the screw into the wall. Right? Right. I rest my case.
Step 2:
Gather your twigs.
One branch for the rod.
Two Y shaped branches for your brackets.
There are so many varieties & styles for you to choose from. The options are endless when you are in the forest or your neighbours yard. Shhhh. This neighbours yard thingy is a whole ‘nuther story. {Snicker}
Step 3 :
When looking for a bracket, look for a Y shape, with one straight side. The straight side will be parallel with the wall.
Note: Try to find rods [AKA branches] that are as straight as possible. I usually make twig rods for curtains that I leave open most of the time.
Another work around is to use curtain rings :
Step 4:
Pre-drill a hole in the twig bracket for your screw. This will make your life easier when you attach the bracket to the wall.
Trust me.
Nuff said.
Remember the stiff drink part? Sip.
Step 5:
Screw the brackets to the wall.
Step 6:
Let’s land this plane.
Place twig rod on brackets and boom.
Done.
Brace yourself.
Brace your curtain rods.
Brace your itty bitty bits.
Just Brace Everything.
Because you rock out loud
This may be the most awesome-est thing you’ve ever created.
Let’s high five online !!
PS. We can do that pinny pinny thang on Pinterest.
How’s about insta? I was feeling instapated on instagram for a while there. I’m okay now. Thanks for asking. I freaking love instagram. Are you over there too? Uhhhmm. Addicted.