Things had been going pretty swell so far on the bloggy, wouldn’t you agree?  We laugh. We do fun stuff.  We hang out.  It’s like we just get each other.  I like it.  You are all that, and a bag of chips.  I could do this all the live long day.

 

Just for kicks,  I thought I’d wake up and torture myself this morning by sharing a bloggy post with laughs and nose tears.  Just once, I’d like to cry while looking like a super model.  A little tear, strolling eloquently down my cheek.  A stunning beauty.  Nope.  I cried with a big ‘ol roll of toilet paper twirling around my fingers.  Then I cried a little bit more.

 

I’ve had a headache for days.  Is it possible for eyebrows to hurt?  Because they do.  Can you just run over my face with your car?  My headache just won’t go away.

 

Houston, we have a problem.  I’m on a roll.   A shitatastrophy roll.   My life is a shit storm.

 

 

I want to tell you a story, but I’m afraid to tell you the story.  It’s kinda sorta sad, but it does have happy mixed around in it… and possibly a bit of drool.

 

Do  you  have  a  dog  ?

 

Doesn’t a dog just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?   Only me?   Fine.

 

Don’t you just love how a dog can just soak in your presence?  They sit there, all happy go lucky.  Staring at you.  Happy.  Just because.  That’s love, man.  I wish Channing Tatum would look at me like that.

 

 

 

Dogs look at you with that ‘ all of me, loves all of you‘ face.  They have the ability to speak without words.  They do small things with great love.

 

Unconditionally.

 

Cats … well, they can be furry goofball jerks.  But Dogs.    Dogs just get you, don’t they?  They just do.

 

Have you ever done some really stupid things?   Never mind.  I know you have.  Who is it that faithfully stands by you?   Your dog.

 

Unconditional  love

 

 

Unleash   the   Awesome …

Have you ever heard of The Great Pyrenees Breed?

 

They are gentle and sweet.   Affectionate with e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e.  They have a quiet, unshakeable confidence and a soft disposition.  They will protect you when necessary.  They are incredibly patient and unbelievably loyal. They are sweet, attentive, kind and fearless.  Uhhhm, and sometimes they smell like the inside of a belly button.  Wet dawg.  I thought I should warn you about that.  Oh, and they drool.  The icky kind of drool that you hope never ever ever never lands on you.  Gag.  They adore snow and the great outdoors. They are big beautiful dogs, with pure spirits.  They teach you about love and loyalty.

 

Our dog family story …

10 years ago, my Mom was visiting during a wicked crazy snowy snowmobile season.

Note:  Ontario men love snowmobiles.  Just sayin’

My Mom and I had been searching the classified ads for Great Pyrenees puppies.  Our minds were made up.  We had found the perfect pup.  We waited for Michael to be all dressed in his snow gear and raring to get out on the trails.  His snow distraction would work to our advantage.  That dude loves snow.   I know.  Weird.

Michael walked into the house to say goodbye to us for the day …

Me :    Hey hun, Mom and I are going to get a new puppy today.

Michael :   Sure.

He left the room, all bundled in his snow gear.

Mom :  “Lynne, look at me.  Put your coat on.  Let’s GO!!  Did you hear Michael??!!  He said YES.  Let’s get the puppy !!!”

 

Start   The  Car  !!!!     Start   The   Car  !!!!

 

Later that day, Michael returned from his snowmobile trip.  He spotted our new fluffy puppy, Oliver.

 

Michael :    Whaaaaaaaat is that?

 

Me :    Uhmm, that’s a puppy.

 

Michael :  We should talk about a family puppy before you get one.

 

Me : Oh, we did.

 

Michael had zero recollection of the 3 second chit chat that we had that day about getting a puppy.  It was the only day in Oliver’s life that Michael didn’t like him.  One day.  In 10 years.

 

Oliver changed all that.

 

 

 

Michael + Oliver = Inseparable for 10 years.

There were fun times, and bat shit crazy times too.

Oliver survived a few fiascos over the years. He ate steaks off of the BBQ, an entire pie in one gulp, a block of cheese without getting constipated… and oh.. oh… who could forget the two porcupines?

 

The  Great  Porcupine  Adventure :

 

We live in the countryside.  Nuff said.   Oliver sniffed out a porcupine.  One speedy ride to the vet, and she pulled the quills from his nose.  As we were leaving, she said …

 

Vet :     See you soon!

 

Me :    Whaaaa?  See you soon?!!  What the what-what whaaaaaa?

 

Vet :    Dogs always do this TWICE.  She said it with quiet confidence and that face.  You know the face.  The you-know-she-is-right  face.  I hate that face.  Pffft.

 

Me :    Errrhhmergerd.   You have got to be efffffing kidding me.  We handed over billion dollar bills to pay the vet bill, and skipped out the veterinary door.  Not.  Oliver had the face of shame.  Surely, he learned his lesson.  I like to tell myself these lies.

 

We’ll be fine <— famous last words.

 

 

 

Then it happened. It was like ground hog day.  History repeated itself.

 

It was the great return of the dreaded porcupine on a hot summers night.   I woke up in the wee hours and Michael was nowhere to be seen.  The barn lights were on.  How odd, I thought to myself.  And a whole lot scary.  I hate going outside alone in the dark with the boogie men.  I wrapped myself in my fluffy housecoat & pink fuzzy slippers and wandered out to the barn in the darkness while grasping a flashlight for dear life.

 

There they were.  It was a sight.  A sight for sore eyes.

 

There, in the middle of the barn hallway, was Michael and Oliver. Michael had {thankfully} slightly drugged Oliver with homeopathic Rescue Remedy.

PS.  That stuff is d’bomb dot com if you ever need to chill a dog, a child or anyone who needs to be slapped with a calming agent.

Michael was gently pulling the quills out of Oliver’s muzzle.  One at a time.  But that’s not all.  The story doesn’t end there.  Michael was buck naked !!

He did, however, have enough good sense to be wearing sandals.  Errrhmergerd.

 

 My eyes.  My eyes.

 

I have never ever, in the history of ever.. stopped laughing about that night.

I might be scarred for life, and now you have that vision in your head too.  My bad.

 

That was 10 years ago.  10 years goes by in a flash.  Like it was yesterday.

Flash

*  Gone *

This is the part of the story that I didn’t want to tell you.

 

This week, our dear sweet Oliver passed away.  

 

 

Our family sat huddled together in quietness and wept.  Quiet, slow tears. The moments just ticked by. Together, we listened to soft music playing in the background and talked about how we had truly hit the jackpot with such a great dog.  We talked between tears.  Oliver hit the jackpot with all the love he had from us, our friends and family too.

If love could have saved him, he would surely be alive today.

 

 

We had a chance to be with Oliver and love him for his last few cherished moments.  The kids huddled around him.  Michael held him as his legs slowly gave away.  He laid down, took his last beautiful sweet breath and then he was gone.

 

 

It was in that moment that I wondered…

How could the sun possibly rise tomorrow?

Can’t we all just take a pause?

Pause.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.

Goodbye to our sweet bear.  Goodbye to the beauty you brought into our lives.  Goodbye to all the greatness you showed, kind Oliver.  Goodbye to the dog that protected our children.  Goodbye to you, my friend.  Thank you for blessing us with your gift of love.

 

May you rest in peace and have sweet dreams.

 You were the best pal a family could ask for.