‘Tis the season to make lists.
Looooooong lists.
Longer than your arm.
Longer than a trip to the North Pole.
LONG.
Do you ever just ADD something on a list purely for the pleasure of scratching it off the list?
Oh hells ya.
You are weird.
And now, officially, my new BFF.
The Do’s and Don’ts CHRISTMAS List :
Do drink a lot of rum and eggnog.
Don’t confess it. It is the new normal. Spiking your eggnog is a national Canadian pastime at Christmas. Shhhh.
Do some one stop shopping and multitask like a shopping ninja.
Don’t forget where you parked your car in the shopping mall parking lot.
Do thank the person who walked out of the mall at the perfect moment that you neeeeeeeded that parking spot. Maybe wink at them inappropriately. *blush*
Don’t give the finger to the dirty bugger person who hoodwinked you and stole your parking spot. Taser him.
Do shop for presents and think about your presence. Time is a gift.
Don’t eat all the candy off the gingerbread house before you go shopping. Blame the missing candy on the dog. It works every ~ single ~ time.
I recently went on a last minute shopping marathon shopping spree with my daughters. I have four children. Shopping for them at Christmas is like shopping for an entire village of smurfs.
It is wild.
It is hairy.
Sometimes it is desperate. Last minute, I start wrapping toilet paper rolls in Christmas wrap and throw them under the tree. Occasionally, I will wrap a barn cat. Sometimes a boot. An odd sock.
Anything in Christmas wrap looks extraordinary.
Note : This should only be attempted by professionals. BEWARE : When the suspect gifts get opened, wave your arms frantically and pretend the tree is on fire. No one will notice the scurrying cat.
But…but….but…. this Christmas season was a whole new thaaaaang.
I rolled over a new Christmas leaf.
Applause puhhhlease.
Air – HIGH FIVES !
We planned a family road trip to Toronto for a shopping DATE. Have you ever had a date with your kids?
~ It is epic and torturous all at once ~
My thoughts :
Ok, I’ll play the game. What could go wrong?
Pipsqueakskids can be trolls. I’m just kidding. Not really. Seriously. But I went for it. Shopping with kids is for the bravest of the brave.
My three daughters and I just went for it.
Hopped in the car, destination Timbuktu.
Jokes.
Destination : Square One Shopping Mall.
I was a bit worried at first. Would I be on the corner of 23rd and hell ? Did I eat a big plate of crazy ?
Our date in the mall meant lunch together. We hit up MOXIES and rocked it out loud. There wasn’t any gum under the table and the restaurant was downright sexy.
It could have been the wine.
‘Tis the season to be Merry * hiccup *
The kids and I laughed so hard, a bellini shot out of someones nose.
Not naming names. Tristan.
* The shopping day was a huge hit. And no one got hit. No one opened the can of whoop-ass.
No sweaty balls allowed. Ok, I don’t have balls. But if I did, I wouldn’t sweat-ty them.
Why is it that every time I write a blog post, BALLS get talked about ?
Weird.
My fault.
Your problem.
LOL.
Fish oil makes you healthy to cope with moments like this. GINGERBREAD FEAST.
My date day life lesson :
Go on dates with your kids. It is epic. It is memorable.
Remember, life can be a crazy straw. Up and down and all over the place with crazy twists and turns.
Slow it down.
Don’t get your tinsel in a twist.
Life is BIGGER than Christmas.
Merry Christmas my friends.
Much love to each and every one of you.
xx