New York + Greenwich Hotel = H.E.A.V.E.N on earth

Dec 5

My fave hotel in NYC. Ehhhmergerd, check it out !! So awesome ! xx

 

Our road trip to New York has started.

We hit the road with bells on. Whatever that means.

If it means that we crossed the Canadian border into the United States and no alarm bells went off at security…well then… we hit the road with bells on.

Already, things are different about this road trip.

I didn’t get hauled into the customs office and strip searched.  {{ Drats }}

 

 

Our flight from Toronto to NYC is  a hop skip and a jump.  The hardest part is keeping a straight face with airport security when they ask their stupid-butt questions.  Stupid is as stupid does.  Whoever made the rules for airport security, surely couldn’t punch their way out of a paper bag.

Airport personnel :  Did you pack your own suitcase ?

Me :  Wtf?!   I WISH someone packed my suitcase. Then they could have sat on it with all their might to jam it shut zip it.  Then, they could have jumped up and down on it with a vengeance to practice what baggage handling will do to it.

What does airport personnel do when someone says YES to that question?

Me :  Yeah. That’s right. I somehow bribed a complete stranger to pack my suitcase.  I had them do my laundry too.  And wash my windows.  It was great. I learned how to fold my underwear in new ways that I didn’t even dream possible.  Very impressive.  My life will never be the same.

 

 

 

Airport Personnel : Did anyone ask you to carry anything for them in your luggage?

Me :  YES, a  total stranger asked me to carry some cocaine across the border. You don’t mind do you?  They seemed very nice.  Is that a problem?  Oh, and by the way…I took a hit of acid with my Grandma before she dropped me off.

Who the heck ever answers YES to those questions?  Only people who were dropped on their head as a baby.

Dear airport security : Everyone has figured out that they shouldn’t stash a knife in a shoe.  Or spike their water with explosives.

Airport security have something in their mouth.  BULLSHIT.

It is wrong when an old lady catches hell for carrying her knitting needles.  What is she going to do? Knit her way off the plane?  If she could actually hurt someone with those knitting needles, well they deserved it.  They just got beat up by an 80 year old.  Hello.

It is times like THAT, when I want to teleport myself to a luxury hotel.

Like the Greenwich Hotel in TriBeCa, NY.

I luvvvsss me some GREENWICH.  I luvvvvsss me some New York.  DELISH.

I especially love the shit that New Yorkers say :

 

 

My dirty little secret : I’m having a love affair.

With New York. And The Greenwich Hotel .

Last year, my gal pal Norma from My Beautiful Paris somehow bribed me into a trip to NYC for her 40th birthday paaaarty.   She twisted my rubber arm.  Where did she drag my butt to? The GREENWICH HOTEL.  I should have full frontal smooched her for that one.

My mind would be writing a cheque for a kiss that my lips weren’t cashing.

 

 

Click on photo for a direct link to the Greenwich

 

 

It is all Norma’s fault.  I now want to bite the New York city apple EVERY YEAR.  It has become my bad habit.  Well at least my banker thinks so.  I might need to take out a second mortgage to pay for it.  {{ If it weren’t for my panty drawer stash. }}

Shhhhh.

This hotel is worth raiding the panty drawer stash of cash.  I promise.  If you don’t have a stash..get working on it.  Every woman should have a stash.  For rainy days.  And splurges.

 

I dig deep into my panty drawer stash of cash.  I clear out all the coin jars.  I raid all my coat pockets.  I sell our kittens.  I sell our first born child.  JOKES.  About the kittens.

Shut the front door.  This hotel is worth it.  Every last coin jar penny…worth it.

 

Greenwich Hotel in TriBeCa

P. S. whoooop whooooop

This is not your average hotel.  Robert De Niro owns this hotel. How’s that for a slice of awesome?  Oh my Gawd. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my.  I saw him a few times when we stayed at the Greenwich last December. THREE times to be exactamundo …. I had to pretend that I was NORMAL three freaking times!   The inside of my body was doing the body slam freak out-boogie woogie dance of stupidity.  Thank goodness only I could see the dance inside of me.

The Greenwich is an interior designers dream.  It has 88 rooms and all of them are furnished differently.  How’s that for thinking outside the box?  Amazeballs. Awesome.

What can you find there? (aside from the star studded guests). NOTE:  There is so much fame walking around this hotel it is like a star-gasm.  Every where you look.  A star.  An A-lister. A whatever-lister.  They are there and it is super relaxed and so beyond words of epic-ness ~ I am speechless. Uhm, and doing an internal boogie woogie.

 

NEW YORK + Greenwich Hotel =

H.E.A.V.E.N on earth

 

Click on photo to go to Hotel gallery of amazeballs-ness.

 

 

What’s there?

  • Moroccan tile
  • English leather settees
  • Tibetan silk rugs
  • Swedish beds
  • AND sheets that feel DIVINE
  • A free mini bar of bliss
  • A free candy stash that would blow the mind of any respecting adult with a 12 year old inner child.

 

Just so we are all on the up and up about the Greenwich  ~  you should know that they fill a basket FULL of old fashioned candy. Every~single~day.

 

 

The dream life. You should try it. Even if only ONCE.

 

 

Even if you stuff the entire bowl of candy contents in your purse for your afternoon city stroll.  I would never do that.  I totally did that.  They fill that puppy back up to the brim.  I thought I was going to lose my mind with candy euphoria.

I stayed in the hotel room for hours smoking my popeye cigarettes and making sour faces with sour peaches.

 

The sugar high was de bomb dot com.

 

Don’t give a crap about candy?  It won’t matter.  Once you walk in the doors of this hotel, you will NEVER want to leave. It feels like HOME SWEET star-gasm HOME.

 

You can be gobsmacked and starry eyed for days looking at big names and stars.

It didn’t end there.  For 2 days…stardom floated in and out of those doors like fairy dust on a 12 year old brain.  It was definitely a star-gasm.

Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel, Mary Kate Olson ( I think…I can never tell those two sista’s apart) AND Robert Downey Jr…. Be still, my beating heart.

My heart doesn’t just beat it pops up and down like a mouth full of exploding pop rocks.

OK, the truth is…I was actually popping.  The pop rocks that I had stashed in my purse were popping like fireworks in my mouth.

 

 

My NEW YORK CITY  *make my heart skip a beat* GOAL for this week :

Meet Robert De Niro.

My fear :

I will poop my pants.

I would need to do a calm down technique before I would even think about uttering a single word to Robert De Niro.

 

One Mississippi.  Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi.

BREATHE.

 

One Mississippi.  Two mississippi.  Three Mississippi.

SPEAK.

 

 

Dear Robert,

These flowers are for you.  Teehee

 

 

 

 

 

 

In NEW YORK….

Where dreams are made of.

There’s nothing you can’t do.

The streets will make you feel brand new.

The lights will inspire you.

 

Lynne

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  1. Pamela

    December 6th, 2012 at 7:20 am

    Wonderful post. I would love to stay in that Hotel too. Oh my, when you meet Robert De Niro, please share it on-line too! I wonder what you will say to Robert?

  2. Lynne Knowlton

    December 7th, 2012 at 6:48 am

    Hey Pamela,
    It really is my favourite hotel on earth. You would LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I haven’t met Mr. De Niro on this trip yet, but I’m crossing my fingers, toes and everything in between. 🙂

  3. yvonne bratkin

    December 6th, 2012 at 8:20 am

    lol thx for taking me for a trip to new york that was great and funny and lol amazeballs!!!!!! hope u meet Robert De Niro..give him a big kiss on the cheek for me too!!!! have a great time guys

  4. Lynne Knowlton

    December 7th, 2012 at 6:47 am

    Ahhh Evie,
    You are always with us in spirit. See you soon !! Big love,xx

  5. Tracie

    December 13th, 2012 at 2:16 am

    It’s just all too much, Lynne. I don’t even know what to comment on. I am soooo jealous!!! Oh, that tub…..and that bed……and everything about everything you posted. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. That’s it, I’m starting a NYC stash, baby!! And no, I’m not referring to my upper lip, that’s a horse of a different colour I’m afraid………I hope with all my heart that you have a sublime meeting with your Robert De Niro, and I will be just as envious as when you met Tony Robbins, another sigh…….I’m going to save my pennies (I would rather make art out of them, but I’m a poor ass) and go to NYC and hope to run into you there because you definitely make the most of whatever you do. So happy you are enjoying life. : )

  6. Dani@lifeovereasy

    January 30th, 2013 at 12:43 am

    Cruise family? Robert DeNiro? Robert Downey? I am dying to meet a celebrity! I never meet celebrities! I am Starting my cash stash. Going to look under the couch pillows now….

  7. DIY Homemade laundry soap that smells like Robert De Niro. Oh hells yeah. | Design The Life You Want To Live

    July 5th, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    […] could typically afford to stay at the Greenwich.  But now with laundry money I can do it.  I have traveled to the Greenwich and just chilled like a rock star.  That’s right.  Chilled.  On laundry […]

  8. Homemade Baileys Recipe that will knock your stockings off ! | Design The Life You Want To Live

    August 3rd, 2013 at 8:49 am

    […] is easy sneezy to make.  Bottle it in a bottle that you may have stolen from a hotel.  Like the Greenwich Hotel.  Not that I would ever do that.  If you don’t want to get arrested, just buy the bottle. […]

  9. Mark

    November 13th, 2013 at 1:00 am

    Ha! I hear you on the security questions! My favorite was one they used to ask in the UK – “Is there anything in your baggage that could be used as a weapon?” I always wanted to ask – “How creative do you want me to be?” I somehow figured that was not the right answer, though, but I thought it every time. LOL

    Been awhile since I’ve been to NYC but that hotel looks awesome! Probably wayyyy out of my price range but love the character! I’ll dream about staying there some day! =D

  10. Laurie @ Vin'yet Etc.

    May 23rd, 2014 at 10:17 am

    Robert Downey Jr???? Really, I do not know how you controlled your self!!! even if my mouth was packed with pop rocks I think i might have gone off like fire works, pop rocks every where. I adore New York, have only been once… to stay in such luxury and to actually see celebs, drool!!!!

    PS I can’t really do a complete push up, I’d just have to lay there on top of RDJ and Mr De Niro, sputtering pop rocks and crying. xo

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