How to make the most insanely beautiful chunky knit blanket in the history of ever

Mar 23

How to make theeee most insanely beautiful chunky knit blanket in the history of ever

I’m almost speechless.

I said almost, don’t get too giddy.

 Everything you need to make a chunky wool blanket is here!  These chunky knit blanket kits are beyond perfect and luscious and sexy and you’ll want to hug your blanket and call it Betty. Or Veronica. Or Clara.

Okay. We named our blanket patterns after our Grandma’s.  Legit.  Because we love our Nana’s and totally appreciate the art of living life in the slow lane.

Knitting forever, housework whenever via Lynne Knowlton | DESIGN THE LIFE YOU WANT TO LIVE

Today, I’m keeping it brief, not to be confused with showing you my briefs, which might make things kinda awkward between us.

You and I are more than friends. We are like a really small knitting gang.

 AND we have some knitting to do.

Chunky wool knit blanket kits are here!

I super hollered that ^^^^^ !!!!!!%$#@##$%%

I like to party. and by party, I mean knit.

My latest chunky knit patterns that sooooo many of you have been asking for are finally here!!  It only took me 43897498457 hours to get the knit collection set up in the blog shop.

I’m an excellent procrastinator.

Knitting unwinds me and keeps me from unravelling << See what I just did there?!

I have a lot of chunky wool blankets in my home.

Like, a lot.

No really, a LOT LOT.

Originally, setting up my blog shop was during my kitchen renovation (kill me.) That was also a time when I constantly felt like throwing a cocktail in someone’s face. (Or curling up in a dark corner and crying.) And hello Michaels cancer.  Cancer has a way of punching you in the feelings.

It’s at these exact times in my life where I read stacks of trashy magazines, binge-watch Netflix shows, write super boring scintillating blog posts + create chunky wool blanket kits … because the more FUN I pour into my work, the happier my soul becomes.  Did I just sound like a corn dog?  Don’t answer that. It wasn’t a real question.

Erhmergerd *drinks vodka from flask in desk drawer.

It takes balls to knit.

Knitters gonna knit.  Therefore you are my fave person.

Chunky knit blanket.  How is this even REAL?

Knit your own chunky knit blanket ! Fabulous patterns, wool, knitting needles and chunky knit blanket kits via Lynne Knowlton | DESIGN THE LIFE YOU WANT TO LIVE

Remember this photo ^^^ that I posted recently on Instagram?

And yes, that’s an enormo amount of throw pillows on my bed, why do you ask?

I   H A D   A   R O U G H   W E E K 

I woke up one day a couple of weeks ago and was like…WHOA! I know what I must do. I must put chunky wool blanket kits on my blog. My coffee was strong. In hindsight, perhaps I should have spiked my coffee.  Yes.  Most definitely. Why the hell didn’t I spike it ?!!%$! *throat punches self.

It was also the same week that I decided to make homemade bread crumbs in my blender. Note to self: do not leave lid off blender when making bread crumbs.  The struggle was real.

M Y   S O C K S   T R I E D   T O   M U R D E R   M E

OKAY.  This is based on a mostly true story. Some of this actually happened. My socks kicked my ass and took my name.

M Y    O R I G I N A L    P L A N :

I had big plans.  A while back, I put on my big girl panties and set out to slay some knitting dragons by duct taping my iPhone to the ceiling for a photo sesh (you are so judging me right now, aren’t you?)  That’s cool. I judged my choices too hahaha *palm hits forehead. I had planned on taking 479847511 photos of the blankets, me and the wool, all happy-like.  I was young and stoopid last week.

I know you are secretly-not-so-secretly already laughing at my genius-not-so-genius duct tape contraption. In my defence, I had inhaled copious quantities of motor oil coffee.  Coffee clearly gives my unrealistic expectations.  What I should have been thinking was…

Step aside coffee. This is a job for alcohol.

Everything you need to make theeee most insanely beautiful chunky knit blanket in the history of ever
 Note: missing person in photo above ^^^ !!!!!?#@%
 
I was dead.  Ugh.
Gone. Whooshed. Vanished.
Off my bed. Like a sock loving loser.
Let’s pretend that didn’t happen.
 

 W H A T    actually   H A P P E N E D …

My photo sesh started off pretty sweet.  I stood on my bed, (hyperventilating from excitement) while duct taping my phone to the ceiling. Oh to be a fly on the wall that day.  I bet the flies were even laughing at me.

It seemed the harder I worked, the slower things seemed to go. Am I f’n ancient ? I’ve seen jello move faster.  Apparently I’m 102 years old.

 

Enter total gong show.

I not-so-delicately-nor-lady-like-took-my-phone-off-the-ceiling-while-swiftly-slipping-and-teetering-off-the-edge-of-my-bed-until-I-flipped-in-my-effffing-socks-and-catapulted-directly-and-promptly-while-face-planting-the-floor.

I basically had my ass delivered to me.

 

So I cried.  

That’s what grown ass adults do. #AmIRite ?

The socks survived. My ego. Not so much.  I bruised pretty much every square inch of my body. Including the unmentionables.  Damn it.  I just mentioned the unmentionables *face palm*

After that fall from grace, my face slightly resembled this—> ?!?!?!?!!!!!  I won’t tell you who had a bruised ego, so don’t even try to guess.  It wasn’t me. I swear it.

Now I realize blogging isn’t a glamorous job, but still.  #FML.

Blogging often looks a little like unemployment to your mother and could more accurately be titled “Professional E-Mailer & Couch Potato Who Knits On The Side.”

*finds potato chip in sofa cushion*

But I finally did it !!!!!

Drops the mic. Walks off the stage.
 
 

THE KNIT COLLECTION WAS BORN

{{  Here’s everything you need to make a gorgy gorgeous chunky knit blanket  }}

Make your own chunky knit blanket with this kit !! It's gorgeousness !!

1.

S I M P L E   =    B E T T E R

PATTERNS : I created TWO gorgeous chunky knit blanket patterns for you.   I’m telling ya, some knitting patterns can make you feel like a total incompetent loser. Not this one.  Or this one.  They are ahhhhmaze.

I updated this pattern on the blog to an even more INCREDIBLE pattern with different blanket sizes, knitting tips and secret knitting sauce. The new ebook downloadable pattern is so so so good.

Both chunky knit blanket patterns are instantly downloadable and full of descriptive pics. I don’t want to deflate your love tires but the patterns have knitting pics, not Channing Tatum pics. Whaaaa?!!!  Pattern Bonus :  There are hawt tips like how to join your yarn without weaving or knots!  Tie up loose ends?  N O P E. There’s nothing to tie up.  No yarn ends. No tying.  OMG OMG OMG OMG.

HINT:  every knitter has the potential to unleash this super power. F’REAL.  It’s super EASY too!

 

2.

NEEDLES : The circular knitting needles are the lowest price in the history of ever on my blog!   Start the car!  Start the car!  The needles are super versatile. I use them for easily knitting all my chunky knit blanket projects. They are also great for making knit pillows, scarves and any chunky yarn knitting projects.

 
 
3.
WOOL :  I also found the most beautiful wool on the face of the earth. Annnnd, you will flip-your-ish (JUST DON’T WEAR WOOL SOCKS!) when you see the kit with the wool in it. Erhhhmergerd. BOOM.  We ran out of stock of the soft blue wool (yet you can still special order it here for the sale price for a later delivery in June. ) The 100% Peruvian wool is also available in the most beautiful creamy colour and black too!!

PS. The colours are d’bomb diggity.

 

4.

CHUNKY KNIT BLANKET KIT :  Good things inside

Didja see all those blanket pics up there in the blog post !? ^^  Told ya, a total beaut. You should totally knit one. For fashion, and for crime fighting. I’m losing my mind over it. It’s ridiculous UGH. Dead. I really think you should just go for it.

The chunky knit blanket kits each come  with wool, knitting needles, pattern, swag AND free knitting pattern too!  Sorry to yell. It’s just so good.  So so so good.
 
Make your own chunky knit blanket with this kit !! It's gorgeousness !!
5.

ACCESSORIES :  Pom-poms and tassels are like jewelry for your blanket.  They can really make a blanket POP with pow.  Erhhhmergerd. Tassels. They are the whole giddy up and go go.

Didja know there are pom pom maker kits? Holy batman.  You’re gonna be like, ohgawdthankyou.  Why have I been winding my wool around toilet rolls for years?!

6.

We need to talk about Macrame.  I’m obsessed.  Have you tried it?  Getting inspired here on Pinterest. OMG OMG OMG OMG.

Being a good knitter is 3% talent and 97% not being distracted by the internet

 

We can do this. And by we, I mean you.  Happy knitting!

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  1. Nean

    April 5th, 2018 at 3:17 pm

    Holy Thursday Batman! I went into a knitting coma for about four days. I knit a bunch of scarves for an auction we have at our school to raise funds for special items teachers may need throughout the year to improve their students’ educational experience! Hah, that was a mouthful. I wanted to tell you thank you for teaching me how to join my yarn ends so no more tails sticking out! there should never be cat tails in your blankets! I can’t believe I didn’t know how to do that before! What new projects are you up to? I learn how to cable! Super ease! Stay calm and knit on!

  2. Lynne Knowlton

    April 6th, 2018 at 9:38 am

    Hi Nean! Isn’t that theeeeeeeee best knitting tip / secret sauce ever?!! I included that secret sauce in all my knitting patterns because I was getting soooo tired of having all those willy nilly bits of wool sticking out everywhere, that never seemed to stay put (where I apparently had weaved them in ) ha! Solved!!

    PS. which pattern did you buy to learn the technique? I think I’m going to create a pillow pattern next for my next project or maybe macrame! I have been also making a million pom poms for blankets 🙂

    Knitters gonna knit!
    Happy knitting!
    Lynne xx

  3. VERY SPECIAL AUNT GAIL

    April 7th, 2018 at 4:23 pm

    If you truly, truly loved me, and absolutely wanted to make me cry (betcha you can’t) then you would pull up your big girl thong and knit me one of those chunky blankets…..only if you love me….sniff, sniff….xxx or at least convince your Mom to.????

  4. Jo Fleming

    April 7th, 2018 at 4:35 pm

    Super thoughts – now I feel fairly normal! I haven’t been out for 10 days (MS) but still managed some knitting. Mind you – wool getting thicker – needle size increasing!!! Those circular needles look fab – on my list as I type!

    Many thanks for the humour – we need it to stay sane or not.

    Kind thoughts

    Jo x

  5. Melanie Kissell

    April 7th, 2018 at 6:04 pm

    Kudos and cupcakes, Anna, and Happy Knitting!

  6. Anna

    April 7th, 2018 at 9:43 pm

    hi Melanie,

    Thanks!

    Anna

  7. Tamara Creel

    April 7th, 2018 at 8:17 pm

    Congratulations Anna!!!
    Woot Woot!!!!

  8. Anna

    April 7th, 2018 at 9:43 pm

    hi Tamara,

    Thanks!!

    Anna

  9. Anna

    April 7th, 2018 at 9:42 pm

    hi Lynne,

    Wow, I can’t believe it! I never win anything. I’m so grateful-this is exciting! I’m so looking forward to using this amazing kit to make a blanket that I can curl up under. It’s been awhile since I made anything, so I’m really looking forward to making a beautiful blanket, and learning something new. I might even let four crazy kids curl up under there with me! I’m sure they’ll want me to show them how to knit their own blankets as soon as they see me doing it…they are a creative bunch…this will be inspirational! It’s been a challenging winter and this is such a ray of sunshine. Huge thanks and hugs going your way! xoxo
    Anna

  10. Lynne Knowlton

    April 8th, 2018 at 6:51 pm

    Congrats Anna !!! I’m really happy for you too! It was so hard, reading through so many beautiful comments, as everyone is a winner to me xo… and your story was so beautiful too. It truly has inspired me to do so many more giveaways on the blog this year.

    I wish I had a million blanket kits to give away. I really do. But I have some new ideas on other wonderful giveaways now too 🙂 xx

    Get ready to snuggle up and knit with the kiddos 🙂 underfoot. Excuse the pun. Your poor ankle! I hope you are healing well. I’ll send you an email this week so we can exchange deets and you can give me your mailing address / info etc.

    Big love!
    Lynne xx

  11. Deborah Weiss

    September 27th, 2018 at 11:19 am

    I love this throw and want to make it for my daughter who just moved to London UK. I would like to make it in pale/medium grey with white and red flecks (heathered sort of). Can I use 3 strands of chunky grey and add one strand of thin red wool and one strand of thin white wool? Would that achieve the look or would it just look like a dog’s breakfast?

  12. Lynne Knowlton

    September 29th, 2018 at 8:35 am

    Hi Deborah, that is a good question. There are a lot of colours going on there, but it may be worth a try. I would do a small test patch first to see what you think 🙂 Happy knitting, Lynne

  13. Beth

    October 12th, 2018 at 12:15 am

    Hi, I love your blog. I subscribed and got a different pattern.. Where is the pattern that isnt knit 4 purl 4 with tassels and not veronica or clara, the one. I’d like is the other cream one that looks like all knit with a bit of a border with a different stitch pattern amd tassles. Maybe you udated it but that is the pattern I’d like.

  14. Theresa Bilben

    November 12th, 2018 at 10:08 am

    I’m soooo saving up for the crazy tassel blankie. Gorgeous!!!
    Theresa

  15. Karen

    December 10th, 2018 at 10:42 am

    Hi!
    Does the kit include enough yarn to make the tassels?
    Thanks,
    Karen

  16. Lynne Knowlton

    December 24th, 2018 at 10:01 am

    Hi Karen,
    I usually use 2-3 extra balls of wool to make the tassels and/ or pompoms. We sell it the extra bundles here. PS. Sooooo sorry I took so long to reply to your note. I just saw it today. Hello holidays. LOL. Happy knitting, Lynne!

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