Before you look any further, you must really read this post Treehouse + Squirrel = TROUBLE so we can be playing with the same squirrel deck.
You should know the ‘big picture’ about our treehouse scandalmonger.
Our treehouse squirrel is a buttinsky. A mischief maker. A ruffian in the trees. He marches proudly along the porch, with nuts in his mouth, and fists full of dirt.
Dirt from my daisy pots.
Yes, he pitches that dirt…. stares at me….and flicks his tail.
Then he smiles a squirrel smile.
AND
He sings too.
” I’m the king of the Castle, and you’re the dirty rascal….tra-la-la-la-la-lahhh “
Clearly our Treehouse protector needs to be FIRED.
TIME HEALS ALL ……they say.
What the what-what-what ?!
What idiot made up that saying?
Who is ‘they‘?
I want to meet them and tell them that they are stupid.
Then punch them in the face.
With a squirrel.
What is the treehouse ruffian up to these days?
**nut throwing
**potted plant digging
** porch rail pouncing
** daisy pot disrupting
** treehouse porch marching
** wise guy prancing
** potting soil pitching
He is an all around treehouse trasher of a hellion.
He digs holes in the potted treehouse daisies and hides his nuts.
I’m not gonna lie. I want to hide his nuts too.
He stares at me with a look on his face that says ‘whaaaaaatup lady??’
Dude, throw me another one, I’m holding her camera down !!
There isn’t any room for potting soil in the daisy pots anymore.
Or daisies. They are dead.
He pee’d in them.
Mr. tough guy just THROWS the dirt all over the treehouse porch. He stands there and literally pitches it across the steps. He might be smiling when he does it.
In fact, I’m certain he can *smirk*.
We need to show him our treehouse ‘BACKSIDE’
He was misled when he was born. Someone told him he was a groundhog.
If I was his mother...when he was born….I would have named him ASS.
What I need is a treehouse whisperer. Someone who can talk to the squirrels.
In squirrel language.
I need a whisperer who can talk the language of jerk face.
How to Tame A Squirrel :
The Treehouse Whisperer
P.s.
All of the mother nature squirrel photos are from a website I stumbled on when I was goofing off working on the inter-web-universe called Buzz Feed . Very cool photos! Wait until you see the shark photo. You will never want to swim again. Just sayin’.
AND you will think I am a suck for complaining about an evil squirrel.
No, No…don’t shoot. I promise I didn’t eat your mattress.
I better get a grip {on my gun.}
Jokes jokes.
I’m going to buy a gun. I don’t own a gun.
I think I need to become a sharpshooter.
My bad.
I used my outside voice again.
