TREEHOUSE: Don’t Panic…It’s Under Control

Don't Panic.. it's all under control. hahaha. #Treehouse squirrel control.

Before you look any further, you must really read this post Treehouse + Squirrel = TROUBLE  so we can be playing with the same squirrel deck.

You should know the ‘big picture’ about our treehouse scandalmonger.

Our treehouse squirrel is a buttinsky. A mischief maker.  A ruffian in the trees. He marches proudly along the porch, with nuts in his mouth, and fists full of dirt.

Dirt from my daisy pots.

Yes, he pitches that dirt…. stares at me….and flicks his tail.

Then he smiles a squirrel smile.


 He sings too.

” I’m the king of the Castle, and you’re the dirty rascal….tra-la-la-la-la-lahhh “

Clearly our Treehouse protector needs to be FIRED.

TIME HEALS ALL ……they say.

What the what-what-what ?!

What idiot made up that saying?

Who is ‘they‘?

I want to meet them and tell them that they are stupid.

Then punch them in the face.

With a squirrel.


What is the treehouse ruffian up to these days?

**nut throwing

**potted plant digging

** porch rail pouncing

** daisy pot disrupting

** treehouse porch marching

** wise guy prancing

** potting soil pitching

 He is an all around treehouse trasher of a hellion.

He digs holes in the potted treehouse daisies and hides his nuts.

I’m not gonna lie. I want to hide his nuts too.

He stares at me with a look on his face that says ‘whaaaaaatup lady??’

Dude, throw me another one, I’m holding her camera down !!

There isn’t any room for potting soil in the daisy pots anymore.

Or daisies. They are dead.

He pee’d in them.

 Mr. tough guy  just THROWS the dirt all over the treehouse porch. He stands there and literally pitches it across the steps.  He might be smiling when he does it.

 In fact, I’m certain he can *smirk*.

We need to show him our treehouse ‘BACKSIDE’

He was misled when he was born. Someone told him he was a groundhog.

If I was his mother...when he was born….I would have named him ASS.

What I need is a treehouse whisperer. Someone who can talk to the squirrels.

In squirrel language.

I need a whisperer who can talk the language of jerk face.

How to Tame A Squirrel :


The Treehouse Whisperer



All of the mother nature squirrel photos are from a website I stumbled on when I was goofing off working on the inter-web-universe called Buzz Feed . Very cool photos!  Wait until you see the shark photo. You will never want to swim again.  Just sayin’.

AND you will think I am a suck for complaining about an evil squirrel.

No, No…don’t shoot. I promise I didn’t eat your mattress.

I better get a grip {on my gun.}

Jokes jokes.

I’m going to buy a gun. I don’t own a gun.

 I think I need to become a sharpshooter.

My bad.

 I used my outside voice again.


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TREEHOUSE: Don’t Panic…It’s Under Control https://t.co/meFs1TTPtt


Moth balls. That’s the answer to your squirrel problem.
Really! it works. I’ve had my share of problems with them.
They thing my backyard is there gym-bury Papa squirrels Mamma squirrels their babies and all their extended families jumping from my trees to the roof to my deck making a mess of my pots window boxes and on and on. Anyway I used moth balls and it worked! Give it a try and let me know. Good luck.


TREEHOUSE: Don’t Panic…It’s Under Control http://t.co/fQEM443jpU


Lynne, I’m sorry, but I laughed my butt off reading about your ‘Ass’ saga, only because I had thought I was the only one in the universe waging a war against a squirrel.. ( In MY case, squirrels in general.) I suppose I should count my lucky stars that the only squirrel damages around here are mostly in the form of them invading my 2 bird feeders and scarfing up everything I put out daily for the birds that frequent my yard. I toss out a few handfuls onto my brick patio for the squirrels, chipmunks and morning doves, hoping… Read more »

We have similar issues with magpies. They are so beautiful but, gah they are so destructive. And mean. They try and kill other garden birds. But I admire their ingenuity, just as I am sure you admire that chap’s (“Ass,” to give him his proper name). Great, funny images that you selected. The one having a casual lean on the lens is priceless. Good luck with treehouse whispering and daisy whispering too. Enjoy your burgeoning spring

Dan Gullett

Love the tree house, but I could see it as a year round home, don’t know the weather where it is, may need to insulate a bit. I feel like you and I have the same Sense of humor, I am a 58 year old man in just outside of Cincinnati, on 2.38 acres, I love being out in the country. Over the summer the History Channel had a short lived show where they took two total strangers and dropped them off in some remote spot miles from anywhere, whey were naked and were only given a couple of survival… Read more »

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[…] time of year.  We see tons of squirrels too, but I’m not going to talk about that.   Our treehouse  may have a panic […]

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Lynne, I KNOW exactly how you feel about that squirrel! I have a resident squirrel myself that has lived in a tree across my back fence at least 5 years which is when I first noticed the dark spot on the side of her tail, so I KNOW its her! She KNOWS better than to live in a tree on MY property cause I’d be climbing up that tree and putting a squirrel bomb in her nest. She used to skidaddel up my 3 birdfeeder poles to feast, minutes after I filled them and went back in the house. I… Read more »


Not that you would ever, EVER do this… but I thought it would make you laugh.

What happens when a squirrel finds fermented pumpkins, then eats them.


Haha, that’s quite a vicious sqiurrel. Whenever I watch them, I always think their brains are receiving signals from seven different sources and they can only focus on one at any given time…hence the always fidgety, indecisive behavior I’ve seen in them.I should be thankful the only sqiurrels I deal with are the grey sqiurrels we have down here in Atlanta…those red sqiurrels that live up north are freaking monsters! Like half-size cats practically.

Ha ha what a brilliant post…cheered my day right up! Keep posting entertaining stuff like that!


Hi Lynne,
I came to your website from twitter. It’s visually pleasing. Ever thought about dong a book about Interior Design? Are you close to downtown Toronto? Best wishes to your husband.

Ok guys,I feel your pain! I lived on a creek in the woods in Indiana,Talk about squirrel’s,these guys would not leave my flower pot’s alone,and on top of that they loved the taste of my treated deck railing,I tried every thing to deter them to no avail,
they just seemed to enjoy what ever I put out to scare them away.
So I finally gave up and moved into town.
Oh no it seam’s that they got the message and some of them followed me,Now they like my flower beds and shrub beds,Oh well the fight go’s ON

Reply to  Lynne Knowlton

Yes I do live in town now,but reluctantly,I keep an eye out for the little bugger’s but so far they are just after me.

I say you lace his nuts with cayenne pepper. Too much? I have better ideas. We were down yonder in your neck of the woods this past weekend. I am about to write a post about a market in SouthHampton and an antique shop in Clifford that I couldn’t take a photo of b/c someone spilled their corn pops while I had my camera ready. omg! gold mine! You live in a pocket of wonderland of Made in Canada wood1

Laughed my ass off!


Love this post!! My favorite line was about hiding his nuts. Got my own very bold squirrel. Gave my son permission to shoot him with the nerf and/or water gun. No luck yet. He just came back for more.

I work(ed) with Michael at NF5. Tell him we miss him and send our best.

Poor poor Lynne I feel terrible for you that pesky squirrel is going to be the downfall for you! Hang in there! There has got to be away of getting this nastiness under control!


that was just tooooooooooooooooo funny luved it Lynne…cannot wait till the next”As the Squirrel digs again” or the Squirrel hides his nuts again or As the squirrel gives Lynne grey hair to match his lol i could go on and on with that…fantastic, hilar!!!!!!

Oh my, this squirrel story is so funny! I think it is time to give your squirrel a name? It seems that he or she is there to stay.

ummm…in high school and college I shot on Varsity rifle teams.
Just sayin…..
xo Cathy

Reply to  Stitchfork

Recently I was at the Grand Canyon with my five-year-old grandson and I had Mr Mouse, an atploximapery life-size furry mouse finger puppet, on my finger. We stopped to watch some squirrels, and I put Mr Mouse up and had him wiggle. One squirrel came up to him (he was ON MY FINGER, you recall), and examined him pretty thoroughly before going back to the business of begging for food and fighting with the other squirrels. Mr Mouse and I are glad the squirrels didn’t get together and gang up on him like your friends did in the video.

I’ll bet you would improve your aim quick if you had one of those Power Water guns that the kids all play with. Your squirrel would be trained in no time!
And, your tree house would be washed out, too.
Benefits, benefits.

I feel your pain. I spent four dollars on a tiny container of cayenne pepper to combat my woodchuck that thinks it’s a groundhog (wait, what?). That’s pricey for me. I figure I am doing a life coachy service for those darlings, providing them with those extra endorphins whilst encouraging them to take risks and try something new (as in hopping the woodchuck trolley to anywhere but my yard).


You know all that havoc that little squirrel is causing….digging in pots, making a mess, sticking its tongue out at you…. Wait I just thought, I could have named you “Squirrel” instead of Lynne…… ha……a Lynne clone…. must be karma LOL

Ha!! that is one persistant pain in the you know where squirrel. His relatives ate every tulip bulb in my garden, chewed on my herb plants, ate my rosebuds and tried to enter my home my chewing a hole in my screen. I feel your pain.

Reply to  Lynne Knowlton

I have a squirrel who has eaten a hole into a ptioron of my roof. This will be fixed soon.However my hound dog is on to him and every time this squirrel comes around he goes nuts, the dog that is.Then the cartoon starts. The squirrel then returns the abuse by barking back or whatever it is squirrels do when they get excited. He then moves up to the top of the roof to further torment Miles(the dog) and sometime throws things at him. Needles to say that until the squirrel tires of his amusement the dog is barking and… Read more »

Why don’t you build a little tree house for the squirrel? Fill it with acorns, and cashmere, so if that helps.


Lynne, you might want to try this lady’s advice. I know I will when I’ll have a “real” garden next summer. I only have two tomato plants at the moment and I haven’t had any problems with squirrels…yet.

Good luck!


Reply to  Lynne Knowlton


Personally, I understand why he/she wants to hang out in your neck of the woods….it’s a paradise!!!! 🙂 Why on earth would he want to run away?

Let us know if the cayenne pepper works!