Is your kitchen fugly?

 Dream BIG.

 There is hope for you.

Pursue big dreams instead of small realities.

If I can work with the worlds fugliest kitchen … then anyone can do it.   My kitchen had a face that only a mother could love.  You don’t have to be as dramatic as I was.

After you see the photos in this blog post and realize how my kitchen was a little shop of horrors, it will make your kitchen seem like a walk in a beautiful park full of unicorns and sparkly fairies.

Don’t believe me?  Get ready to be mortified.  You may actually want to cover your eyes and go stand in the corner and suck your thumb.

Before :

AFTER :

 

 

The original kitchen was a dark hole of grossness.  It was a place where happiness went to die.

The only hope for the kitchen was to paint anything that didn’t move … White 

Once you go white,  you never go back.  What?!  Never mind.

We live in a white kitchen and it works like a charm.

Nuff said.

 

All of the chair pads and slipcovers throughout the kitchen are white and washable.   White is easier to clean than you think.

I use my homemade {delish} laundry soap and I use fantastic spray bleach for stains.  I discovered that stuff one time when I missed my sink and hit the chair. Bam.

Pow !

 

Clean sink AND clean slipcovered chair.  Who can ask for more than that?  It is a stain removal miracle.  Spray fantastic with bleach on stained white things.  Wash in washing machine.  Stain is gone.gone.gone.

You will have officially witnessed a stain removal miracle. You’re welcome.

Want to know more about why white is a slice of awesomeness in a kitchen?

 

In the event of a chair catastrophe you can even replace the stool slip covers at Ikea for $10 each.  I bought a second set for red wine emergencies.  Not that it happens.  It totally happens. Most importantly, that flippin’ Ikea bar stool is also the worlds most comfortable stool.

You can curl up in it and fall into a food coma.

It’s $79 at Ikea.  Hello, sahhhweet price.

Uhhm, and Ikea didn’t pay me to say that.  I wish.

 

Dear Ikea, You really should get to know me.  We could be friends.  Just sayin’.

 

Our original kitchen was enough to make a grown woman cry.   Oh wait.  I did.  It was enough to put any sane soul over the edge.  Oh wait.  I did that too.  I contemplated Thelma and Louise-ing it over a cliff several times.

The kitchen was actually four rooms of stupidness.  They made no sense. We removed every wall possible.  Luckily, nothing fell on our heads.

If you have an option to tear out a wall, do it.  Just do it.

Part of the problem of some kitchen designs is that the work spaces face into black walls of darkness.  Ewww.  If you are going to wash dishes, you sure as hell don’t want to stare at a wall when you are doing them.

Torture.

 

Our place was a dive had potential when we moved in. What is worse than terrible?  It was that.   It was enough to make you shit a kitten. That bad.  Worse.  Definitely worse. Don’t believe me?  Cover your eyes if you have a weak stomach for ugly.

G.R.o.S.s.

 

The house had not been a victim of any sort of fabulousness for a very long time.  It was a diamond in the rough.  Maybe a cubic zarconia.

To give you a sense of our initial dire situation, my brother-in-law drove up our driveway on the first week that we moved in and said to me :

Jim :  Have you lost your mind?

Me :  I’ll whip this place into shape.  It’ll be rad.  You’ll see me on the news.

My inside voice : Is that my heart beating so loud ?  Is this what a heart attack feels like?  Should I  have considered crop dusting the fields with happy drugs?  I wonder if they grow dope around here?

Was I bat shit crazy?

 

But {deep down} I had one home design goal.

Pure, effortless, classic, REAL & quite simply simple.

It was my home design goal then, and is still my goal to this day.   Do you have a home design goal ?   Now that the kids are back in school,  you might be having a blast missing them dearly and you might even start to contemplate some ways to funk up your kitchen.

This is how you prepare :

Step one:  Jump up and down on the beds after the kids get on the school bus.

Step two: Have pillow fights.  With the wall.   You are now officially warmed up to start your projects.

The kitchen is always a good place to start.

 

Your kitchen does not need to be a place where happiness goes to die. Make it a happy place.

Need some inspiration?

 

Check out Pinterest. Note : There is one wee humungous problem with Pinterest.

Pinterest = impossibly delicious.  Errrmahhgerd.

Pinterest :

You will be so inspired by the kitchens that you see! Part of you will jump for freaking joy, and the other part will want to high-five Pinterest in the head.  With a chair.

  Before you know it, you will have an inspiring plan.  Or a really pretty kitchen Pinterest board.

Same same but different.

Need more inspiration?

I’ve written a ton of DIY blog posts full of great ideas for your home.

You can find them here :  There is no place like home.

Go easy on yourself with your plans.  Don’t beat yourself up about your kitchen.  There is always hope.  One step at a time.  One foot in front of the other.  Get ready,  I have a bunch of blog posts lined up for you with cool ideas for your kitchen.

Keep it simple.  Keep it real.

 

You know you have a real kitchen when …

   

1.   There is a science experiment growing in the fridge.

2.    There is an unidentifiable sticky something stuck to the floor

3.   Dirty strangers bring filthy dishes into the kitchen in the middle of the night and leave them everywhere.  The gruby little turds leave a disheveled mess.  Dirty bastards.

4.   It’s a place where you can play with cooking utensils, wire, beads and food – but not all at the same time. That would be gross.

It can take you ages and stages to grow your kitchen and that’s okay.

It is better to live in a space and get a feel for what you love.

If you follow this kitchen series, you will have a ton of ideas coming your way.

Follow the blog for the latest updates to be delivered directly into your email inbox.

Before and After Crazies :

Are you ready for the before and after shots of the kitchen?   Slaps forehead.  Get ready to gasp.

BEFORE :

 

AFTER :

 

 

PS. I’ve changed the backsplash since this photo was taken.  You can read about the smashing story  the original mosaic backsplash here if you would like to make your own backsplash too.  More on that later. A great kitchen takes time.

An evolution.   It takes time to make it into something special.  Something that feels good.

BEFORE :

 

AFTER :

 

Yes, I believe all kitchens should have a sofa in them { where possible }.  Can’t do it?  Take out a wall.  Problem solved.  Tahh-dahhh.

BEFORE :

AFTER :

 

Over the years, you can make baby step changes in the kitchen.  Sometimes giant leaps.   Tread with caution.  I did.

 We bought a double sink and a single sink.  Having two sinks in a kitchen is d’bomb dot com.  Try it.   You’ll like it.

  I took one for the team by shopping for sinks at the Swedish Labryinth {also known as Ikea.}

PS. Ikea = Swedish for divorce.

I love that place.  I hate that place.

 

Faucets :

I have fallen head over heels in love with Delta Faucets.

Why LOVE Delta and Brizo faucets ?

 

Are they gorgy gorgeous ?

Check √

Are they functional with solid construction ?    Check √

Do they have great customer service ?    Check  √

Can you turn their touch faucets on and off by kissing the faucet  ?   Check  √ 

Do they respond to you on twitter* ?    Check  √ 

Sold !

We went with touch faucets in the kitchen.  That’s right.

Touch activated faucets.  <– I screamed that.

They are super - dope - rad

Touch activated faucets are sort of like men.  Actually, identical.  With a European design.  They even turn on when you kiss them.  And you think I lie.  I took the idea for a test run.  I have kissed men and faucets.  They both turn on when you kiss them.  The proof was in the pudding.

Touch faucets are all that and a bag of chips.

The faucets will feel like the yin to your yang.

The ping to your pong.

The normal to your crazy.

We decided on this faucet from Delta for a kajillion reasons ~  one of which, it makes me want to do the happy dance in my kitchen.

Flashback :

The fire department came to put out a chimney fire in our kitchen.  For the fourth time.  We are now on a first name basis with the chief.

BEFORE :

I love the look on my daughter Tristan’s face :

Let me just casually lean up against the counter and pretend that the fire department is not in my kitchen.

 

Or My other daughter Mackenzie :

Is that a birds nest hairdo on the back of her head?!! I am an unfit mother.

 

AFTER :

 

I promise, I still have four kids, they are just hiding around the corner.  All hell broke loose after this photo.  #GoodTimes.

Be weird.  Normal is the new boring.

PS. The fire department visits happened 10 years ago.  I might still be blushing. On a better note (and one that doesn’t cause a hot flash)… I can’t wait to share with you what this space looks like now. Oh. la. la. <- I meant that about the fireman AND the outdoor space.

Since the whole kitchen chimney fire fiasco, some of the firefighters have become our pals.  They even park their truck here on occasion.  What?!   Wait until they found out that we took it for spin. Nudge nudge.  Wink wink. Joking. Not really.

 

 

Dear Durham Fire Department, You might want to check under your seats for some bubble gum wrappers,  bottle caps, and fire crackers. Love, You, Me and Dupree.

 

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Enter your email here and we can happy dance together.

Sources:

Farmhouse sink: Ikea,  Touch faucet: c/o Delta Faucets, Wood countertops: reclaimed vintage floor boards, Kitchen Stools: Ikea,  Large overhead lighting in dining & sofa area: West Elm,  Slipcovered sofas:  Ikea,   Backsplash tile: Home Depot (discontinued)