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House rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world.

It’s noooooo secret that I’m obsessed with life at home. I spend my days redesigning spaces, in my head. I imagine different interior layouts, move furniture 1373957 ways around a room, prep ‘lifestyle’ vignettes (whatever that means) and fantasize about different ways to make pajamas acceptable at all times of the day.

I get like, next level obsessed with all things HOME.

  • Exposing that I’m literally an insane person with high regard for real dishes. My 14 BEST house rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world. www.lynneknowlton.com
  • Here are my HOUSE RULES. Read the list. I swear, it isn't boring. www.lynneknowlton.com
  • My BEST house rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world. www.lynneknowlton.com
  • 14 things to make your home feel more like… well…HOME.  My quirks + house rules | LynneKnowlton.com
  • Here are my HOUSE RULES. Read the list. I swear, it isn't boring. www.lynneknowlton.com
  • Here are my HOUSE RULES. Read the list. I swear, it isn't boring. www.lynneknowlton.com
  • I hate pants and socializing. Should I admit that in my outside voice?  My 14 BEST house rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world. www.lynneknowlton.com
  • 14 things to make your home feel more like… well…HOME.  My quirks + house rules | LynneKnowlton.com
  • Here are my HOUSE RULES. Read the list. I swear, it isn't boring. www.lynneknowlton.com
  • 14 things to make your home feel more like… well…HOME.  My quirks + house rules | LynneKnowlton.com
  • 14 things to make your home feel more like… well…HOME.  My quirks + house rules | LynneKnowlton.com
  • 14 things to make your home feel more like… well…HOME.  My quirks + house rules | LynneKnowlton.com




Here are my HOUSE RULES.

Read the list. I swear, it isn’t boring.

Although you may now think I’m a freak.

Okay, bye.

1.

This may sound like captain obvious, but I super love decorating with white. People often say to me : ‘how do you keep it clean?’ Well. You wipe it when it is dirty. Then they say ; ‘whuuuuut if I have a white sofa and want to eat my spaghetti dinner on it?’ Well. Eat at a table like grown ass adults do. 

PS. I have a white sofa and I can HOSE IT OFF WHEN IT GETS DIRTY. Legit. Should I even admit that in my outside voice? I haven’t actually used a garden hose on my sofa, but I could. They make super durable boom dig fabrics now, people.

2.

Drink only real coffee. Is it weird that I think coffee in pods is a little bit iffy? Like, how long did that coffee linger in that pod before it lingered into your coffee cup?  Did I just wig you out? Welcome to my headspace.  It is crazier than a swirly straw in here. 

3.

When I’m not second guessing my life choices, I’m thinking about ways to make pretty much any space a little bit prettier. Whatever room I’m in, I wish it was brighter. I wish for more natural elements and wish that I was looking at an oceanside sunset, rather than the current pile of laundry that is forever giving me the stink eye. If there are any rules to follow they go something like this: light trumps dark, fun trumps formality, linen trumps polyester. Stamped it. Double stamped it.
 

4.

I spend a lot of time wondering if the stuff I think about is weird. For example, I like dead plants more than the live ones. You know those wispy flowy airy dead things? Love em. You know those bright coloured tulips and roses? Hate em. There is only one exception this rule: if the plant is all green … I LURVE IT. Green light pass. Is that wahhheird? Don’t answer that, it wasn’t a real question.


  • Here are my HOUSE RULES. Read the list. I swear, it isn't boring. www.lynneknowlton.com
  • My BEST house rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world. www.lynneknowlton.com
  • I hate pants and socializing. Should I admit that in my outside voice?  My 14 BEST house rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world. www.lynneknowlton.com
  • 14 things to make your home feel more like… well…HOME.  My quirks + house rules | LynneKnowlton.com
  • I hate pants and socializing. Should I admit that in my outside voice?  My 14 BEST house rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world. www.lynneknowlton.com
  • Exposing that I’m literally an insane person with high regard for real dishes. My 14 BEST house rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world. www.lynneknowlton.com
5.

We have four kids.  Three is for quitters. We’ve learned that is is realllllly important to take the time to eat dinner with our kids.  At a real table. With real dishes. No tv or cell phones at the table. Don’t even try it. Or you’ll be on dish duty for the rest of forever.

6.

Can well all agree that the toilet paper needs to roll over the top of the roll, not down the back. Am.I.Rite??  If you invite me to your house, I’ll turn your damn your toilet paper roll around when you aren’t looking. Judge me.

I have a public service announcement for all women and men out there: YOU ARE ALL LITERALLY DOING IT WRONG. You should be shutting the toilet lid completely before you leave the bathroom. It’s the only respectable thing to do. 

7.

What about all my messy laundry all over the floor? My rule is put the dirty laundry and unmentionables in a dark, private shame-ridden closet. That’s where dirty laundry goes to die. A clean bedroom is what dreams are made of. 

8.

Let’s talk about disposables. Paper plates are convenient and all… but unless you are living in a hut or throwing a massive party, there’s no reason to use disposable or plastic anything.  You deserver better than that. You deserve a real glass and a real plate. And plastic wine glasses? Don’t even get me started.

9.

Use a tea towel. Michael splashes around like a duck when he washes his hands in the kitchen. To dry his hands, he wildly flaps + flicks them in the air and soaks anyone within a one mile radius of him. His hands may be as clean as a whistle. But so is my face. My hair.  And pretty much anyone else who dares to stand nearby.
 

10.

I don’t like it when things get mixed up so I love to label things and sort them like any obsessed crazy person would do. I legit NEST, like a pregnant 55 year old. Here’s the deal. When you can’t find something, it causes a lot of extra work and definitely a few more swear words.

11.

Here’s another aesthetic thing. The sight of a funky dirty dish cloth sends me into a deep dark funk that can last for months, even years. The struggle is real.  This super inexpensive practical thing changed my life. It will change yours too.

12.

Nothing makes me feel crazier than opening the refrigerator to find copius qualities of opened non-milk-soy-mocha-latte-almond-rice-coconut-cashew-cream-lactose-free-oat-milk open. It just sits there, laughing at how out of control my life has become.


14 ways to make your house feel like HOME. My quirks + house rules that drive everyone crazy.  But they are ohhh so good.


Okay.  I’ve exposed that I’m literally an insane person with high regard for real dishes. I should backspace a few of those off the list.

Despite my insanity, soooo many of you have asked me to share the inside scoop of where I shop, what paint colours I use and overalllllll, how to make HOME feel ohhhh so good. Obvs, I follow my house rules, ya weirdo. hahaha.

Tristan and I are working on a new section for the blog, to shop each room in our home, treehouse + cabin. We also added a few new items into our own shop too. Here is the Bali Collection. Erhhhmergerd, right?!

Until then… we gathered up a few of our HOME faves to get this partayyy started … xo …

My quirks + house rules that drive everyone crazy.  But they are ohhh so good.


Tell me you have your own house rule quirks that drive everyone crazy. Don’t leave me alone in this world. 

My quirks + house rules that drive everyone crazy.  But they are ohhh so good.



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Honey you are amazing. Love all your feels, you share to the core.
Cancer effing sucks. Too much pain in our world
Your light and bright posts distract and engage, thank you
And then on the minor level- yet could be a game changer for morning-
shopping note- cause you are the bomb diggity — find me a tea pot that pours with out burning your fingies or slopping up the counter. Tag me? Kisses. Hugs & wine (Or martinis – have you had a 5th amendment? It’s wrongly/rightly nummy)

Todd Dulmage

And never, ever, use the peanut butter wooden-knife-spoon-delivery thingy in the jam. Or butter your toast and go back for more butter. Watch Lynners go cray cray CRAZY. Just sayin…

I had no idea we had so much in common! But, although I lovvve your home, white does not work for me right now. Maybe not ever. I’ll just admire yours. I need to hide my laundry better. And I have one child forever. Other than that.. My rules: You may load the dishwasher but don’t have a coniption when I rearrange it. Because you know I will. Close the shower curtain when finished. Fold and hang wet towels properly. Outside: I want all the hostas. Clover. A rockery and with stones and creeping thyme…boxwoods. I do not want to… Read more »

Lynn you are so fun! Bright spot in my day today lol. Your decorating is impeccable … love it!
You inspired me today to tackle one area of my home that I don’t particularly like doing. The bathroom 🥺 Anyways I did it and spruced it up and am tickled pink with the results.
Sometimes it’s just one little area at a time and keep that up and before you know it your home is looking pretty good!
Blessings sweet friend
Deborah xo

Marilena

Uh oh… you’re wrong about that! Your house rules make sense to me. In fact, they are MY house rules! All of it! Paper plates, toilet paper, toilet seats, cell phones, even the tea towels!

In fact, I insist that the towel is at the ready even before your hands touch water! I had no idea that there were others like me! Especially someone as funny and talented as you are!

Yours is the only blog I ever even look at. So entertaining and real! Hope you’re happy again.

Have a*´¨)
¸.·´¸..·*´¨) ¸.·*¨
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ * Wonderful day!

Marilena

Adele

About Michael’s hand washing; my husband has the EXACT same routine. Bathroom mirrors have to be wiped down after a hand washing! What gives with the shaking like a wet dog routine? Wonderful read. My Sunday morning chuckle.

Michael Knowlton

Great list. I would add ‘cupboard-itis’, leaving the cupboards open offering a clear trail of where someone (maybe me) may have been.

Lin

Oh my Gawd!!! I’m Mini-You 😂 Your rules make total sense, well good practice on #5. I don’t have any of those human offspring. Not only do the rules make sense, there is corroborating evidence for some.

YouTube
Can Toilet Germs Reach Your Tootbrush? – Duck Quacks Don’t Echo
Google
Toilet Paper Patent – you’ll find the truth!

My rules…same, same…a few more. Currently all are on standby waiting for me to have some ‘nest’ time. Busy, busy, too busy. Was retired, now I’m just re-tired’.

Lynne it’s lovely to see, Hello Humour! 💜🙏💚

Rhonda MacDonald

I’m no quitter either! Remarkably, we have many of the same house rules 🙂
I will admit that I look at your photos and set new style goals for myself!
When are you gonna make house calls? I’ll be the first on your list.

Auntiepatch

1. Be kind or be gone. 2. If you don’t like animal hair on your clothes, don’t come in. They live here – you don’t. 3. I read until 2 or 3 am. Don’t call me before 9 am. 4. NEVER call me after 9 pm unless it’s an emergency. I will determine if it’s real or not 5. If you are coming for a visit, call first, and bring chocolate. Or scones. Your choice. 6. Yes, I have a spare bedroom but if you aren’t invited to use it, you will have to fight the cats for the rights… Read more »

Debi Humphrey

Rule #1: whoever gets up first has to let the dog out to do his business and then feed him. Hint: it’s always me, dammit. Rule #2: I must have plenty of alone time. If I don’t get to recharge my batteries, I ain’t happy. Hint: If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. Rule #3: I’ll get you a drink if I’m already getting up to get one. And you can’t wait hours with an empty glass till I get up. Hint: get your own drink, and while you’re at it, get me one, too. Rule #4: whoever gets up… Read more »

Karen

I’m getting a kick out of these rules. Here are some of mine…born out of unpleasant experiences. Rule #1 Do not show up unannounced. Even my kids know they must text first. We moved an hour into the wild to help enforce this rule. I want my loved ones to visit but I don’t like surprises. I am known to sit quietly in the house, waiting for a door knocker to tire and leave my doorstep. Rule #2 If you are invited to dinner you will get a food assignment. I can give myself a migraine making a 4 course… Read more »

Rules #2, 5, and 6 should be on EVERYONE’S house rules list! The others are great, but not necessarily mandatory! Thanks for sharing your wisdom with humor and panache!

Craig Stockinger

Rule #1
When In Doubt, Throw It Out.
Thus Endeth The Lesson. 😳

Cheryl Krentz

Thanks Lynne….I was sitting here bored out of my head waiting for my hubby to get home from work when your email came through. Loved reading your house rules list. I’m now sitting here thinking of what would be on my list. Here are a few… **No red….never red! **Shoes off at door…I remember yrs ago , we had just had quality broadloom put down on our main floor. ( It was “ in” then) Damn if my hubby’s father (a farmer) would walk right thru with his shoes on! I had hubby make up a sign we put at… Read more »

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