I’m in Las Vegas.

 Enough about me.  

Where are you? Who are you?

 Tell me about you.

What's your story?

I want a parking pass into a snippet of your life.  Dish it.  STAT.

Do you love to travel ?

 

We can teleport ourselves all over the place and into each others lives.   We can travel virtually by sharing our whereabouts.  Unless you are in the witness protection program.  Don’t share that shit.

 

Give me your ‘real life’  goods.  The real stuff.

Right here.

Right now.

 

What part of the world are you hanging out in?  Whatcha doing?  What do you love to do? How do you keep yourself busy?  Who do you love?  What are you fed up with?  What’s on your bucket list?

 

Shall I go first to get this party started ?

Do you need a sip of sumthin’ ?

Go get it.

 Then… get back here and get ready to talk.

  It’s time for you to spill the beans.

*waiting* waiting*

VIVA LAS VEGAS

 

 

 

Get ready to get ‘yer game on.  I’m calling your name next.

I’m looking right at  you.  Put that sandwich down.  You are telling me your story in a moment.   You need both hands for this one.

Here’s a snippet into my week:

I was feeling pretty happy when I arrived in Las Vegas.  Who wouldn’t ?  Glam and glitz.  Wowsers.

Then…oh then….

Reality Check :

I met the hotel magnifying mirror.

Note : A hotel magnifying mirror is lit up brighter than the Vegas Strip.

 

 

 

Those mirrors can find things better than an FBI profiler.  They are like glow-in-the-dark magnification on steroids.  The dreaded mirror finds things that you didn’t know even existed.  Nor should you know that these things exist.  Let sleeping dogs lie.

 

Dear Hotel designers,

A lit up magnifying mirror in the bathroom is like the little shop of horrors.  Should I be thankful for the mirror, or rip it out of the wall and stomp on it with reckless abandon??!!

Signed,

Rhinocerous face 

 

Seriously… no one should see their face so up front and personal.  No one.

 

 

4 Reasons why magnifying mirrors should be banned:

 

1.   The mirrors are like a bad relationship.  Every time you look at them, you want out.

2.   Even if you think you look good before heading out…. one glance in the larger than life magnifying mirror will change your mind.

3.  The mirror is like looking through binoculars at Jurassic park.  Suddenly, you are a prehistoric beast with deathly dry skin issues.

4.  That face in the mirror is not you.  It is your evil twin.  The ugly one.  The one with random sprouts of hair in odd places.  And sideburns.   Gasp.

 

Solution :

1.  Throttle the mirror.

2.  All mirrors should come with an instagram filter.  Everything looks good with an Instagram filter.  Problem solved.  Or PicMonkey it.  PicMonkey will remove your wrinkles, give you a spray tan and whiten your teeth.  And you think I joke.

 

 

 

Now it’s your turn.

Tell me your story.  I want to know about you.  What part of the world are you in?

What can you share ? :

 

**  Share your favourite blogger.  It better bloody well be me.  Jokes.  No.  Really.  If you want to know my fave bloggers ~ you can find them here : OMG, I love these bloggers.

 

**  Share your thoughts and feedback.  Unless they suck.  Then don’t tell.  I have had three negative blog comments in the past year.  All of them drove me to drink a stiff shot of whiskey through my clenched teeth.  Then the sudden urge to high-five the negative commenter.  With a table lamp.

 

There.  Warned.  Fair and square.   I will punch you if you say mean things.

 

Share your favourite things….like recipes or DIY ideas.  Something outside of the box.  Slightly absurd is completely acceptable.

 

Share anything that tells me about the real you.

 What you shouldn’t share :

 

Your bra size.

The contents of your diary.

The last time you shaved your legs.

 

 

 

Share your story in the comments below …

Mwah!!