This week has been a flaming hot mess and I was wrecked.
Wrecking Ball. WRECKEDย
Have you ever had one of those weeks, and it has only just begun? ย You know the kind.
The kind where you want to have a cigarette and a nap, and you don’t even smoke.
I’ve been there, done that, and got the poster this week and it’s only hump day. ย H.E.L.P.
What ย happened ย ?
My site crashed and I was in a shit storm <—- I screamed that.
BAD: ย It has been a snow day here for three.days.in.a.row. ย I could seriously punch a snowman in the face right now … if only I could see 3 inches in front of my face. ย I considered running over a snowman’s face with my car. ย #CanadianProblems
GOOD : ย Google Plus made this Auto Awesome for me. ย I think I love you Google Plus.ย Helloooo, ย it adds snow to photos automatically.
Wait a sec. ย More snow?
I have two words for that, and they’re not let’s dance @!#*
Holy ย Batman
The worst part of my week : ย My site crashed yesterday.
Crash. ย Bang. ย Boom.ย
In the toilet.
Gonzo.
I’ve had bursts of traffic on my site and the whole thingย just had enough. ย I know. ย #FirstWorldProblem
It spit smoke and sputtered.
It was worse than bad. ย It was negative good.
Look ย What ย Happened ย !@&%! :
Google ย Analytics ย Tragedy
That is what you call a bloggers nightmare.
It has never ever in the history of the universe happened to me. #BloggingPanicAttack
Okay, okayโฆ I’ve had a zillion blogging panic attacks, but never have I had ZERO in my google analytics.
This is why I drink. ย I considered having Baileys for breakfast all week this morning.
Waylay Design pulled my site out of the gutter. ย They are so lucky that they live in Vegas. ย I would wet kiss them all the live long day if they were standing in front of me. They are the best thing that has ever happened to my blog. ย Hands down. ย The best web design team evahhh and they are really nice peeps too. ย They are my pals.
So what did I do? ย I needed to chill it, man.
Knitting ย Saved ย My ย Sanity :
I picked up my knitting needles again. ย Don’t ask me why, but knitting relaxes me.
This happened :
I think I knit the blanket, so I could curl up and forget-ta-bout-it-all.
PS. ย I made the pattern up in my head. ย I can’t believe I had any head space to do that.
Truth is, it is so easy, a toddler could knit it.
I was sort of feeling like a toddlerโฆ a little overwhelmed and about to have a temper tantrum.
Want the pattern? Let me know in the comments and I may just do a bloggy post about it. ย It is great for reducing temper tantrums stress and increasing sanity.
One stitch at a time.
I have no idea why this next photo makes the chunky wool blanket look so small. ย It’s freaking massive. ย The knitting needles alone are the size of broomstick handles. ย And you think I joke.
ย
In ย a ย Nutshell …
My week has been a great big cluster-you-know-what-er and I needed a big fat belly laugh. ย HUGE.
Naturally, I couldn’t have a mental breakdown and then a bust a gut laugh without you.
Are you ready for it? ย Go to the washroom first or #YouWillPeeYourPants
If you haven’t seen the original Miley Cyrus video โฆ watch this first. ย You need to do that. ย It will make the next belly laugh make sooooooo much more sense.
ย
Ready ย ?
This. Oh this video. You will be all kinds of weirded out AND laughing, all at once.
I laughed so hard that tears streamed down my face.
Note : ย This is not for a young audience. ย Avert your eyes, if you don’t want to see nakedness.
This video is for anyone who wants to wreck themselves laughing :
Are you dying from laughter? ย You’re welcome. ย I love you like that.
Have a beautifully funny day !
PS. ย I created all the photos on the blog post this week with my cell phone and these apps. ย Why? ย Because I was a hot mess and couldn’t hold a real camera. ย So there.
Holy miley – how appropriate (or inappropriate) I am running through Sydney in my undies on Saturday for a charity – very close to my heart.
Hilarious.
No tighty whiteys will be seen I think.
almost peed my pants – “wrecking ball” video hilarious! thanks for making my day. yours is the first blog i’ve read (crafting ones don’t count) and I’m totally hooked.. Good thoughts for your husband.
Huggs
California Treehouse Diva aka Julie
Lynne, good morning. Living on 4 hours of sleep I just found your blog. Not a blogger and to be honest not sure what blogging is all about. But I ran across your site trying to figure out a sliding door track for my daughter’s room. We bought the super expensive one and hate it. Anyway, I have died laughing and thoroughly enjoyed your posts. Yours is the first one I’ve signed up for and I’m really looking forward to this journey. You are funny and amazing. Thanks!!!
Awwhhhh Leigh,
I know we just met โฆ virtually .. but if you keep talking like that I WILL kiss you ! :))) Thanks for the bloggy love and I hope to keep you entertainedโฆ even if it is in the middle of the night.
Cheers!!
Lynne xx
Okay, that just made my crappy tonsillitis filled (I’m too old for this shit) day better….sooo much better…thank you, thank you =)
When it cools down tonight (pleeeaassse, 32C sucks) I’m going to continue with my sock knitting, although this will be the fifth time I’ve pulled it apart (darn toe), maybe I just need some antioxidants (purely medicinal), hmm time to visit the kitchen me thinks…….cya =)
I loved your comments on the coffee and Bailey’s, to top it off the anxiety and the panic! We are so much alike! Knitting and projects have helped me cope with more of what life throws at me than anyone realizes!
I am so glad that I have found your site, I know nothing about blogging, but I guess it is time to learn!
Thanks so much for being so forthright and sharing! Cat
I feel like if I could learn to make a knitted blanket like that I could do anything. Seriously, would love to know how to get started learning to do that.
Woot woot Carey,
You are right ! Knitting is relaxing, it is a stress reliever, it is a beautiful skillโฆ and it’s not that hard to do.
I bet that there are a ton of YouTube videos on how to knit. I have some homework for you LOL.
What some how to videos and learn how to do these two stitches :
knit
purl
That’s all you will need to know in order to make this blanket pattern. Well, you have to learn how to cast on your stitches too. That’s it.
Watch for the blanket pattern coming soon. xx
OMG! LOLOLOL SO glad I went potty first! I’m forwarding on to my daughter and son! I will also tell my daughter to hit the potty first! Son has no prob in that dept! Thanks for the bust ur gut laugh!
What an absolute hoot, isn’t it Barbie?
I can’t stop watching it.
It is like laughing DOPE. I can’t get enough of it ๐ xx
Hey Lynne,
I must tell you I never… I mean NEVER add comments to blogs I barely read enough blogs to comment on so with that being said… I am glad I ran across your DIY barn door tracks! Had I not had the dire need to have a barn door hanging in my house I would have never came across your blog. You have made me laugh to the point of gut busting, stitch in side, breath taking laughter! TRUE STORY! I find myself reading your blogs just to hear the outrageous things you have to say!!!!(outrageous good) I can’t even relate to some of the things such as snow… I live in Florida so we don’t actually get any white stuff here! Never the less I am awed and inspired by you! Your spirit for life, love and happiness are something people should always strive for! I wanted to say thank you for your blog because you truly make me smile! (and laugh hysterically while my husband stares at me like I’m crazy)
Much love
Catie B
Catie,
You just made my day, my week, my month my year. For reals.
I’m thinking about framing your comment and posting it up on my wall for when I’m having a bad day.
THANK YOU !!
May I share it on my Facebook wall? Would that be okay with you?
I am swinging my arms up in the air and wrapping them around you in a huge bear hug !
With much love, right back atcha !
Lynne xx
Lynne,
You can absolutely post it where ever you so desire!!! ๐
XXX
Catie B
I posted it on my Facebook.
Thank you !
Here it is : https://www.facebook.com/DesignTheLifeYouWantToLive
Love the video and the reactions! Thank you. ๐
Oh those faces Irene ! Weren’t the reactions hilarious ?!! Love it !!!
Laugh out loud !
xx
OMG Crapolie Bwaaaahaaaarrrrrr Thanx xo
Hahahaha !
Do you believe the look on peoples faces as they watch the wrecking ball moments?
Oh.My.Word.
Too funny !!
Watched it with my 32 yr old Down’s daughter… Should have vid her face, she loves Miley, I’m sure she made as many shocked, amuzed, surprised faces and she laughed so hard at this one…when it was all over she looked me in the eyes with tears still running down her cheeks and said ‘He must be fun at the beach’ wtf pist myself again.. Love the life she lives and shares,,,
Glad your back up. Funny video, I needed a laugh. Up to my ears in snow and totally over it, and we aren’t even half way thru winter yet.
You can say that again Colleen,
Holy smokes โฆ is it the mother load of snow this year or what?!!
I consider it a GREAT day, when I can get out of my driveway ๐
Love your … whatever you say before actual subject. Love read and reread your posts. Laughing hard from your comments. Thank you.
Julia,
Thanks for making my day. Watch out. I do SMOOCH peeps for saying stuff like that.
Lynne xx
RT @Lifeovereasy: Wrecking Ball Parody ~ It will wreck you LAUGHING http://t.co/HLPKc5QX3K via @lynneknowlton
Wrecking Ball Parody ~ It will wreck you LAUGHING http://t.co/kPMTsxzmCG via @lynneknowlton
p.s. HAVE YOU EVER LAUGHED SO HARD THAT TEARS RAN DOWN YOUR LEGS LADIES?
As a matter of fact, YES ๐
Wrecking Ball Parody ~ It will wreck you LAUGHING http://t.co/HLPKc5QX3K via @lynneknowlton
RT @dreamhouseproj: Wrecking Ball Parody ~ It will wreck you LAUGHING http://t.co/pofntkPUNm via @lynneknowlton
I would Loooooove your chunky blanket “recipe”. Recovering from surgery and just might save my sanity. Love your blog so much!
Nancy
Oh la la Nancy
Wishing you a speedy recovery !!
Knitting is a genius way to recover, don’tcha think ??!
I will get this pattern up soon.
You are going to LOVE. LOve. lOvE it.
Haha. Great post, Lynne. Hope tomorrow is much better. Pretty scary about the site crashing? Love the blanket ๐
Thanks Lisa
I feel a knitting bee coming on ๐
Ha!
Why do I suddenly sound like I am 102 years old?
Lynne xx
Wrecking Ball Parody ~ It will wreck you LAUGHING http://t.co/z2ULkihr1q via @lynneknowlton
Ok I’m efffed…the video keeps saying its not available …… I’ve read most of the comments also … dang it all. I’ll try later.
That’s crazy cakes Linda,
I’m wondering if it is because of the country you are in (?)
YouTube can sometimes restrict views in certain countries.
If you click on this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6DmHGYy_xk
It should open up directly in YouTube.
Did you tinkle first? You are going to want to do that. ๐ LOL
Thanks Lynnie… Lol, good thing I tinkled first….
P. S. please post the knitting pattern I love to knit with giant needles and easy patterns…
Wrecking Ball video.. sooooo funny.. shared this with my daughter and we laughed our faces off.. oh, she’s 18 and a huge MIley fan. ๐
Hi Jeanette !!
I was just thinking of youโฆ I’ve been watching MY RETREAT marathons ๐
Houses that roll around in 360 degree turns, get away lake retreats, cabins built on landfills, BC tranquilityโฆ and tree houses ๐
PS. A friend of mine from 20 years ago recognized me from the show and tracked me down.
Best Moment Ever. I love it when that happens.
xx
I love you.
That is all.
That’s it. It’s settled. One day, I will meet you.
I’m coming with a WARNING label:
I will fling my arms around you and bear hug like a crazy girl.
We could get into some seriously dangerous fun.
I think you should run away. Fast.
๐
RT @dreamhouseproj: Wrecking Ball Parody ~ It will wreck you LAUGHING http://t.co/pofntkPUNm via @lynneknowlton
Wrecking Ball Parody ~ It will wreck you LAUGHING http://t.co/pofntkPUNm via @lynneknowlton
I recently found your blog and totally want you to be my best friend. In lieu of that, I will accept your continued posting of awesome things.
I just taught myself to crochet last year and it is a huge salvation from the crazy. I am now challenging myself to knit, but so far finding that I don’t have enough brain cells to hold TWO needles vs. one hook. But, I’m hoping large needles like the ones you are using will be like the big, fat crayons we teach kids to write with., so please post that pattern. There may be hope for me yet. (And, if you end up with a crochet-knitting love child pattern, I will be doubly excited:))
Thanks for the little ray of sunshine today. I’m so happy your site is back up and running. (It is making my slacking off at work infinitely easier:))
You got it Grace !
Holding these big fat knitting needles is like holding two short broomsticks.
Wait. I just made that sound hard.
Back up the bus.
It is totals easy. I will post the pattern soon. Here’s the coolio thing … It is only 2 stitches to learn. That’s it.
Rinse. Repeat.
Thanks for the bloggy love !
Lynne xx
Those of us living in the SW would LOVE to have some of that moisture/rain/snow/whatever. We are so dry out here they are going to ration our water soon. Add that to the Santa Ana winds and fire watch we’re stuck at home, too, but for other reasons. We live on a canyon so someone has to be home at all times in case of fire to get the cats, photos, RXs, etc. out. 80 degrees in January is nice but it dries out the vegetation and fire becomes a real danger. So, we’d love to have SNOW!!! P.S. Loved the video!
I am so jealous of you right now, it’s not funny. LOL.
Okay. I still love you, but can we switch homes? You may have to wait a while for the switcheroo.
I might not be able to get out of my driveway until 2018.
Love,
The snowed in Canuck. xx
You can have it all….we are having the winter that never ends…just when we thought we might finally get spring, we got hit with more snow and freezing rain today….we are all so tired of it and if i see one more snowflake, snowman, snowplow driver….they are all getting gutpunched…..this has been going on since October which is early for us…we don’t even normally get snow until december…in fact, the last 3 or 4 christmases were green (no snow) and mild…not cold
RT @lynneknowlton Wrecking Ball Parody ~ It will wreck you LAUGHING: This week has been a flaming hot mess and… http://t.co/rlejPt2yGy
I so hear you!!!!! 3 Days of cabin fever. Just broke out briefly to the local pub for lunch…the whole downtown pretty much closed up, the highways and major roads closed FOR THREE FREEKIN DAYS!
LOVE shitastrophy shit storm! That about describes it! I too may have to take up knitting. Lucky (or unlucky) for us work-from-homers that we can keep on ticking…no snow days for us.
Wrecking ball man is going to be haunted his entire life with that video. I suspect with that rope it gives new meaning to “wrecking ball” ๐
Stay Warm!
Haha Laura..
‘A whole new meaning to wrecking ball’
Wasn’t it hilarious when the ball fell off of his rope too? I just about fell off of my chair at that one.
If we have one more snow day, someone is definitely getting punched.
xx
Wow! Yes I was laughing alternating with mini throw-ups! What is that girl thinking?
Hope you day is going better!
Denise Reynolds
You can say that again ! What is that girl thinking? Her parents need to tell her to put some clothes on ๐
The only time I get exposure like that is when I wear my slippers out in the snow.
xx
Needed a good laugh, loved it!
From my neck of the woods to yours, Suzanneโฆ glad you loved the good laugh.
I put a ‘baby laughing at her dog’ on my Facebook page today. That one had me roaring too!
xx
AS WE SAY IN THE SOUTH,YOUR SITE IS FINER THAN FROG HAIR SPLIT 4 WAYS! YA’LL HAVE A GOOD DAY , YOU HEAR.
Chuckie
Thanks for the chuckle ! Oh my, I have never heard that expression.
That is awesome ! I think. LOL.
xx
Hi Lynne. Hilarious! I loved the reactions. And, I’m with you about this winter. I’m in Minnesota and we’ve have about a Bizillion days with temps Below Zero – Farenheit! My long-johns are going to be permanently stuck to my hairy legs. (We need that extra layer for warmth!) Glad you site is back up. Oh – and no need for the knitting instructions. I’m just heading over to download your Baileys recipe!
Stay warm….
Hi Laurie !
Brrrrrh. You have crazy temps too?
My girlfriend had me laughing this morning when I asked her what the temperature was at her place.
She said : Minus efffing unreasonable.
Laugh.Out.Loud.
It’s all so wrong. It’s like two parodies. That was the longest train wreck I’ve ever watched. Miley couldn’t be serious right? Dang. I get the wrecking ball part (looks kinda fun) but licking the hammer? And all the rolling around in panties, that’s gotta be about her parents (embarrassing). Poor thing, needs a good shrink!
Want to know what is cray-cray about the whole shebang Janet?
That video skyrocketed her to even bigger fame.
Does this mean we need to lick hammers now to become famous? haha.
I’d rather eat a frog. Or maybe lick one.
xx
NA, I’ve licked a few frogs in my day, eating them is a better idea…..
Sorry to hear about your site, Lynne. At least it wasn’t down long. My site has been under attack by hacker bots for weeks now and we’re slowly getting it under control. Not that it makes it better, but you’re not alone. Been happening all over the web. Glad to know you found a way to get your laugh back! xoxo
Seriously Denise !?*
Oh my, I think I would take a long walk off of a short pier if that happened to me.
I would at least drink rum in bed.
Wait. I did that. ๐
Lmao that video just made my day of the hairy guy playing Miley – my coworker is forever disturbed by the imagery. I love the added touch of the bold, bright red lipsticks. ๐ Glad your website is up and running girlie!! No panic attacks required, just whiskey. ๐ Have a great hump day love! -Ivanna
I love it โฆ your coworker is disturbed. hahahaa. That video should come with a warning label.
Beware : Get ready to pee ‘yer pants.
ahahahahahaaa
Oh my! Thank you, Lynne. That’s now my favorite version of that song. What a brave guy he is. Sorry your week got off to such a bad start but am so glad you’re on the mend. ๐
Do you believe he tossed his underwear and flung them?
Oh.My.Word.
That visual. HILARE !!
Laugh out loud !!!
That video is hilarious. But what I can’t take my eyes off is those lovely knitting needles. I just noticed they have a wire between them. Do you mean when you knit all the 35000 stitches of a huge blanket, you don’t have to jam the entire row onto one knitting needle in order to knit it? I WRESTLED my entire blanket onto my 13″ knitting needle for each row. That nearly caused me an anxiety attack. Knitting in that case was not so relaxing. I wish I had a bottle of your Baileys handy, it would have made my December a whole lot better.
So very true Dani !
I would go cray-cray with a needle jam too. Yes, they are size 50 needles on a circular needle. So freaking easy to hold the whole shebang.
Get ‘yer butt over to Romni Wool and buy them. They are the best thing since sliced bread.
xx
You’ve seen the sticker, “I knit so I don’t kill people”, it’s true for me. Ribbing of all kind always looks smaller but those needles look like they can provide instant gratification. What size are they? I’ll now click on the video, after I visit the washeroom.
Jennifer ๐
Did you watch the video? Laugh out loud or what? hahahahaaa.
I am going to take that sticker and paste it on my forehead.
The knitting needles are size 50, if you can believe it ! King Kong would love them.
xx
Ahh yes, to drink or not to drink that is the question… I just opened up a bottle of Mexican Coca-cola and am fixin’ to turn it into an adult beverage, that and a bag of tortilla chips and my sanity will be back in check… I can understand the pain and suffering you must have gone thru… Time to watch the video… …now where is that lime..
Craig,
Ohmergerd.
Mexican coca-cola… I just about lost it laughing with that one.
I finished the evening off last night with a stiff drink of rum and suddenly it helped me to think on the bright side of things. ha!
*Squeezing the lime*
๐
Love your site…I am a knitter also…and it definitely takes the stress away! I would love the pattern for your blanket…need a new project! Your outlook on life is so uplifting …how do you do it!!!!
I was diagnosed with waldromstrom’s ..and am on watch and wait..or should I say worry! I hope your husband is doing well…I snoop on the support site. My husband was diagnosed with Chronic Leukemia a month before. So the knitting keeps me going!
Your a ray of sunshine!
Hi Nanci !!
Wow, you rare rare rare thaaaaaang. I am so happy that you are on watch and wait. It is a great place to be (If I had to pick a place to be in the WM cycle). Hang out there as long as you can.
Wicked crazy that your hubby has CL as well. Holy smokes. With that kind of stress you should be able to knit your way to China.
Are you going to the WM Ed Forum?
Big fat hugs and happy knitting ! I will share that pattern soon !
Everyone has those days (or weeks!) Lynne, glad to know there was no outbreaks of Canadian on Snowpeople violence haha.
I for one would definitely be interested in a crazy easy ginormous knitting pattern, ya know so I can show off to my knit-savvy pals ๐
Too funny Martina,
I might have run over a ‘Canadian winter icon’ with a snowmobile.
Shhhhhh.
What we Canucks have to do to survive winter. Pffft.
*snicker*
xx
Wrecking Ball Parody – it will wreck you LAUGHING. Read about my shitastrophy storm…and it’s only hump day. http://t.co/RIrq9gGM5z
Wrecking Ball Parody ~ It will wreck you LAUGHING http://t.co/XrtjBcYky3
I love the way you “design” your posts! I know what you mean about knitting and how it helps when under stress (or whenever there’s time!). I crochet. ๐
Oh la la Magda !
Have you seen the chunky wool blanket patterns with a crochet edge? So stunningly beautiful.
I feel a combo coming on ๐
Not to worry. Your Shitastrophy should definitely reverse itself. What is the opposite of that anyway?
PS. If you keep posting the nudies, you’re bound to increase your traffic. Naughty Naughty ๐
I can’t stop laughing at that video. Nakedness and all. Laughing !
xx
{ New Blog Post } Wrecking Ball Parody ~ It will wreck you LAUGHING: This week has been a flaming hot mess and… http://t.co/iKebWnJgVg