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Dr. Oz 3 day detox cleanse for skinny hips and fast lips

It happened.  The holidays ended.  Damn it.  I’m super bummed that inhaling sweets and mainlining whipped creamed pumpkin pie came to a grinding halt.

I ate my way across Ontario.  I should have jogged back home.  I didn’t.  I’d rather eat a bucket of dirt than jog.

I’d need to nap. The good news is that the sugar high followed by a low made for perfect holiday napping.  The bad news is that the napping and mainlining of sweets gave me a buddha belly

I felt like a beanie bag with arms.

Like a weeble wobble.

                “Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down”


I fell down.  On the sofa.  Non-stop.  I ate cookies there too.

Then it hit me.

I had to put an end to the nonsense.  It was like the mac truck my body just put on the brakes with the sports car riding up the rear tooting its annoying horn to get the hell outta the way.  My muffin top was screaming profanities at me.

It told me that my next New Years resolution should be to buy a fork instead of a shovel.

A fair New Years resolution, don’t you think?   As a matter of fact, I might be able to keep that resolution for the first time in the history of ever.

Needless to say, it happened.  January arrived.  Bastard January.

Cleanse and Detox time :


Cleanses can be a bit of a shenanigans.  Sometimes I like them.  Usually I hate them.

Some cleanses make me feel hungry.   My head does a 360 degree exorcist spin and I spew angry words to innocent bystanders.

Not this time.

Dr. Oz is my new bestie in the cleanse world.   His cleanse didn’t give me the urge to punch people in the head out of hunger.  I didn’t really feel hungry, but I was jonesin for something to chew or crunch.  Anything.  I would have chewed a frog.

I am quite certain that if anyone came near me with a bag of chips I would have wrestled them to the ground and shoved their face in the snow.  It would have been a football tackle ~ fooshure ~ just for the lick of a potato chip.

The cleanse had it’s ups and downs.

It is entirely smoothie ridden.

Every meal = A smoothie

That can be lovely and categorically horrific all at once.  Is this what life will be like when we are 90 and don’t have teeth?   Life through a straw?  Oh My.

So what did I do?

I cheated.  Shut up.

Rather than blend all of the ingredients all of the time, I set them aside {just once in a while} and ate them instead.  Crunch problem solved.   I know.   I’m smart like that.

Cheater cheater pumpkin eater.

I also cheated on a couple of other things.  I cheated in Grade 3 math and I cheated the lunch smoothie.  The lunch smoothie was green sludge thick.  It tasted worse than bad.  Negative good.

It will cause you to make a face that slightly resembles this –> OMFG?&*^!!!

Tips and Tricks in the Dr. Oz Cleanse:


If you have a juicer, juice all of the ingredients instead.  It tastes great.  Add some ginger for some punch.  I’ve been using the Omega Juicer  for about a year and now I’m a smitten kitten.   I could lick that machine.   LOVE.   LoVE.  LOvE.

If you click on the link here to buy an Omega Juicer  …You can save a bucket load of money when buying it online.

A dealio!  That’s about a zillion dollars less than I paid.   I earn a small commission if you click on the links too.  Not enough to buy a pony, but maybe enough to grab a fresh pineapple.  Either way, I’d be über grateful if you did.    I would never ever, Taylor Swift ever.. write about a product that I didn’t absolutely adore.


Do not add the coconut oil into your smoothie.  Inhale the coconut oil, straight up ~on a spoon.  Fast gulp.  You can do it.  Done.  If you add it in your smoothie or juice, it make it waxy-like also known as icky-like.  It also floats to the top like little styrofoam balls of grossness.  Blah.  Don’t go there.  It’s gross.

Never have I ever.  Oh yes I did.

The cleanse will help curb your sweet tooth.  You’ll find that once you start to eat healthy, you crave healthy.  I know, no one is more shocked by this fact than I am.  Blow my skinny ass over with a feather.


The cleanse states that you can use a regular blender.  I didn’t.  I’ve been having a love affair using the blendtec blender for a few months now.  Uhhm, PS.  it makes healthy ice cream.  I know.   Oxymoron.  Gospel truth.  The Popeye ice cream is t’die for.   I thought Popeye cigarettes were good when I was a kid.  The Popeye ice cream will give you a brain freeze and make you happy all at once. Here are 36 ways to know you had an epic childhood.

The best part about this blender is that you can just throw chunks of everything in there and *bamn*  it’s an insta-juice or smoothie.


ICE is the secret sauce.  When the smoothie is super cold, it is super delish.  That may have been a slight exaggeration.  It tasted better.  There.   You can add the ice in the blender to make the smoothie thick, or add it after to keep it light and chilly with floaty ice cubes.  Wear a bib for when the thick smoothie lands on your face.


 Hydrate.   Hydrate.   Hydrate.  In the words of Dr. Oz … because you know he likes to talk about poop*  …

“The solution to pollution is dilution”

*  I would like to apologize right now for talking about poop on the blog.


Drink your dinner smoothie at 7-8 pm to curb the night-time munchies.  I might have drooled just dreaming of potato chips.

Drink your dinner smoothie at 7-8 pm to curb the night-time munchies.  I might have drooled just dreaming of potato chips.


Desperate?   Drink herbal tea at night to settle yourself down.  I spiked mine with a splash of maple syrup.  Shhhhh.

How to Prepare for the Cleanse

Dr. Oz advises starting to change your diet and cut out sugars, caffeine etc weeks in advance.  What the what what?  Who does that ?  I have some advice too.  Dr. Oz, please wear your scrubs again on the tele.  Scrubs are hawt.

People who do that kind of preparation weeks in advance, probably do a colour patch test on their hair.  I always do that when I dye my hair.  I never do that when I dye my hair.

I bet they read the fine print in manuals too.  Do you read fine print?   Who are you?

Ready to get this detox cleansing paaartey started?

Here’s the down and dirty details :  printable PDF of the cleanse.

 3 Day Dr. Oz Detox Cleanse for Skinny Hips and Fast Lips https://lynneknowlton.com/3-day-dr-oz-detox-cleanse/

Want to watch the whole shebang on video?  You lazy sod.  Okay, I did that too.

Part one :  Dr. Oz’s 3-Day Detox Cleanse 

Part two :  Dr. Oz’s 3-Day Cleanse bath and weight loss

Let’s chitty chatty about bath time !

Does the idea of a hot lavender-scented bath make you feel all warm and fuzzy?  Just me? Okay.  Fine.

The bath was my favourite part .  Maybe I am just accustomed to being in hot water.

10 drops of lavender

2 1/2 cups of epsom salt

Soak for 30 minutes

I read reviews where some peeps skipped the bath part because they didn’t have time.  Whaaaa?  Your life is too busy for a bath?  Okay.  Stand still.  I’m slapping you.

Results of the Cleanse :

1.   Weight loss.  I lost 5 lbs.  Although I’m not an advocate of rapid weight loss, I am an advocate of jump starting a system to healthiness again.  This cleanse resets your healthy button.

2.   Fast lips.  Your added energy will add a little hop in your step and speed to your lips.  You’ll think clearer.  You may possibly become a motor mouth.  Your lips will definitely move faster.

3.   Energy.  Although I had a lot of energy most of the time during the cleanse, I didn’t have it all the time.  By the middle of day two, I definitely needed a nap.  It’s a perfect opportunity to rest and read the book that’s staring at you from the nightstand making you feel all guilty.

4.   Spending money.   Dr. Oz says it’s $16 a day for the cleanse.  Uhhhm.  No.  Maybe if you live on a banana plantation overlooking a field of vitamins.

I begged Michael to do the grocery shopping for the cleanse because it’s efffing cold winter.

Stepping outside in winter goes against my strict winter hibernation policy.

Judging by Michael’s curved eyebrow and stink eye, after returning from the grocery store … I’m guessing that the grocery bill was pricey.   Michael typically reserves the stink eye for special moments like that.

5.  Bloating.  I looked like I was having a baby at the end of day one of the cleanse.  I considered telling Michael that I was having Brad Pitt’s baby.  He knows how fond I am of Brad.  By day two,  the belly was gone.   Brad and I are very happy parents.

6.  Note to self : Writing about a cleanse, while doing a cleanse was not a piece of cake.   Mmmm.  Cake?  Shut your face Betty Crocker.

Do you think you can do it?  Got questions?  Quiz me in the comments.  I might not know all the answers, but that’s okay.  I’ll just cheat and make them up.

Now it’s your turn.  Cleansify.   I’ll hold your hand and entertain you ’cause I love you like that.

Let the entertainment begin …

What I do when I’m not here :

1.  Nap.

2.   Instagram.  I created most of the photos for this blog post in instagram and I may need  a twelve step program to quit this addiction.  One word about instagram.  AMAZEBALLS.   Do it.  Come follow me and join the addiction.

Much Love to You !


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  1. Courtney says:

    Hiii! Thanks for sharing you post and hilarious updates!! You said you were bloated at the end of the three days, did that go away? What did you do to help the bloating?! Thanks!!

  2. Jacqueline Harrison says:

    Hola. Sooo glad I stumbled on your page searching for an answer to the question I’m about to throw down: I will most certainly be following you on Instagram.
    Question(s)do you HAVE to drink the snack?
    Do you have a trick to break down the kale better? Ish was gritttay!

    • Hi Jacqueline, we have a new instagram account now @knowltonandco …and no, you do not have to drink the snack. Some parts are easier to just eat, for sure. For kale, if you have a realllllly great blender it does help to mix in a blender so it won’t taste grittttay. Hope that helps 🙂 Lynne x

  3. I just have to say you are so silly 🤣 have o we here laughing hard

  4. Steffie Weffie says:

    I’m on day 2, almost dinner time and feeling discouraged. I must say your take on the cleanse was quite entertaining while bringing up some valuable points. Thanks. I can smile now. Do you happen to know the calorie content of each smoothie?

    • Hi Steffie,

      Oh so sorry for my late reply. I just found your comment now… and this is a really old blog post, so I missed it. The calorie content, I assume, is the same calorie content that you would have if you ate the veggies rather than putting them in the blender.

      It was a game changer tho, to make the smoothies… so I hope that helps!

      Big love!

  5. Gina says:

    Okay it’s official – you are without a doubt one of the funniest writers I’ve come across on a website. Thank you for bringing a huge belly laugh to my day!

    Hell I wasn’t even going to do the cleanse but after reading your story I feel like doing it just so I can be there day by day with you just to see if our results are the same – you know The sisterhood of it all.

  6. Krystal Finley says:

    From California and hilarious amusing blog to read but after reading this makes me actually want to try the cleanse and buy the juicer without critic. even though I’ve been blending for years with my own juices and replacing meals since “Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead”, but I never have done a cleanse for a 24 hour period over course of days and will now.
    – Krystal

  7. Sarah says:

    You are absolutely hilarious. I think you and I would be firm friends in you lived in Adelaide, South Australia! From your post, I am going to give this baby a go, and see if I don’t look smashing at my gf’s wedding in Sydney next week. Yehar!

  8. Joycelyn Merkley says:

    Hey Lynne. Loved reading your blog on the Dr. Oz detox/cleanse. Hilarious. I am in the middle of day two and expericimg much of what everyone else experiences. Feeling good so far but craving, craving, did I mention CRAVING coffee and carbs. Like you mentioned……….something to crunch. So far I am sticking to the plan as laid out. Can’t wait to get to day 4 🙂

  9. Amy says:

    Lolol, first time reading your blog… too funny thanks for the giggles.
    Now for the real question…can you use something other than celery? I’m allergic and it makes my touch get numb and while my husband might appreciate that, I do not.

  10. Liz says:

    You. Are. HILARIOUS! 🙂

  11. […] starting the cleanse, I read on a blog that these smoothies will make your mind race and didn’t think too much of it. It’s true. By the middle of lunch smoothie, my mind […]

  12. Jeff Countryman says:

    Funny read. Thanks for your honesty. I hate reading blogs about how great these cleanses are and how “delicious” the smoothies can be. Bull-loney!! These cleanses suck, or at least they aren’t fun.

    But I do feel better (middle of Day 2, still gagging 2 hours later from the green goulash. I will knock out the coconut oil tomorrow and pound it instead.)

    Another blog talked about how they were so proud to avoid coffee on the day after the last day and opted for another cup of green tea (masochist!) I’m snorting the fumes from the Dunkin Donuts coffee bag at work because I can’t wait until Day 4.

    Again…thanks for the great read and the tips.

  13. Jason Sweenie says:

    That’s a great story. I did some detoxing myself. The last one I did a lot of stuff came out. Kind of like rubbery ropes. It was called the Bio Cleanse Organic Detox Kit. I liked it.

  14. Abby says:

    Day 1 was great…I am on day 2 with a headache, and i did feel very nauseous after having the green tea, but that did subside after an hour 😐 I’m following the cleanse to a tee, I know I can do this. I have very little will power when it comes to food, so I’m pretty proud I’m actually sticking to it. I’ve read a lot of reviews, and I have to say, you made me literally LOL! so thanks, I needed that!

  15. Michelle says:

    Hello Lynne!! I am currently doing the cleanser, im on day 2 i did it before qnd it made feel way better, but yesterday i just couldn’t go through with the lunch smoothie so i made a salad out of the items but when i stumbled with your review i saw that you made a soup!!! I love soups!! Is there a way you could teach us your ways and share your recipe? PLEASEEEE!! Thank you for the awesome blog! You are hilarious :D!

    • Hi Michelle, you brave thaaaaaang. You have probably finished your cleanse by now. It goes by so FAST and yet so SLOW. Gah, right? It has been a while since I made the soup, but I think I basically took the ingredients, mixed them with water and spices and put them in my blendtec blender to make a soup. I know I added in other flavours, like garlic and spice so I could feel like a grown assed adult making a real soup (and so I wouldn’t feel sorry for myself) LOL. Gawd, I hope that helps.

      Lynne xx

  16. Mami says:

    I was looking up a review on juice cleanses and found your post and I have to say you are a fabulous, witty, and funny blogger! I will come back for sure. I say this because there are so many bloggers now a days but you made me laugh. Luv it!!!!!

  17. Trinette says:

    Your Halarious!

  18. Tiffany Rosario says:

    OMG! You are absolutely hilarious!!! I need to follow your blog. I started the cleanse this morning, but decided to read a little more about it… and that’s where you came in! I might need to re-read this for the next couple of days for added motivation and laughs!!! I thought I pigged out on enough chocolate covered pretzels last night to hold me over for the week…. I was wrong and that bag is sooooo tempting!!!!! Thanks for setting the stage 😉

  19. Michelle Whetstine says:

    A girl friend of mine recommended this cleanse. After reading your blog post (and laughing a lot), I def think I will try it!!

  20. Lori Blake says:

    Great info! Love the soup idea! One add on– if you like the taste of coconut, you can melt the coconut oil in the microwave for 10 seconds and into an “oil.” This is my 3rd time doing the cleanse, and it makes the days so much easier to modify within limits 🙂 Thanks!

    • Fab idea Lori!!!

      One other change that I made was to use MCT oil, since it stays liquid and is supposed to be 6X more powerful than coconut oil. I dunno about the huge powers LOL but it sure was easier to swallow 🙂

      cheers and happy cleansing!
      Lynne 🙂

  21. […] is one exception to the water rule. Okay, maybe two.  This water cleanse and lemon.  Putting a real lemon in your purse will make you look like a dork.  These lemon […]

  22. […] glaze is THAT good.  Mom even cheated with it in her cleanse.  3 Days of smoothies mixed with sneaking veggies drizzled in the glaze.  She licked it off the […]

  23. Camilla Kotze says:

    Day 2 of the detox and I stuffed my face with 6 stale chocolate covered digestive biscuits because I could not face the disgusting lunch smoothie again :(. So I cheated and I feel pretty guilty!

    Detox Diet: 1 Cam: 0

    I’m not built for this,,,

    Good Luck Everyone

    • Oh my goodness Camilla,

      I somehow lost track and didn’t see your comment until now, but I just fell over laughing at the

      “stuffed my face with 6 stale chocolate covered biscuits”

      You may be my sister from another mister 🙂

      Lynne xx

  24. Jen says:

    You had me literally laughing out loud this morning as I blended up my very first (hopefully not last!) breakfast smoothie! My kids were looking at me like I was a crazy person… I’m sure they will confirm their thoughts by the end of the day from the results of drinking my food all day. I am def going to take your advice on the cheating and eating part of this craziness (cheating on food is my best quality ha ha). I hope I can stick this out. I mean its only 3 days!! 3…long…meatless days :/
    Anyway im glad I stumbled accross your blog. Im not a blog reader but I believe you just made me one. You are hilarious


    • Hi Jen
      I’m about a year late in answering you, hahahaha…. how did the cleanse go?

      The food chewing cheat is a good one. LOL!!

      Glad to see that you are a blog reading gal now :)) !!! Yipppeeeeeee

      Lynne xx

  25. Sarah says:

    Your blog cracks me up!! I love reading through your posts! (this is something I don’t always do…oops!) Anywho, thanks for the tips on the cleanse, I think I’m gonna have to get started on this!!


    • Sarah!

      ANNNNNND you are Canadian!! Woot woot! Sorry I took forever to respond, I just found all the comments to this blog post and realized I ignored them all. How rude. haha.

      Happy New Year and keep blogging girly! 🙂

      PS. I have a kickass blogging course coming out this year! Woot woot!

      Lynne xx

  26. Marie Keough says:

    Hi There Lynne,

    You made me feel better just by reading some of your blog. I love your silly sense of humour, it makes me laugh!! Your sweetness and kindness are so glaringly obvious. Like you, I enjoy watching and learning from Dr. Oz. This winter in Ontario has been so terrible although if that’s all we have to complain about we are truly blessed! 🙂 Thank you Lynne for sharing your great blog and your wonderful personality. Have a great week

    Marie K.

    • Ontario winters suck, don’t they Marie?! I’m responding to you about 9 months late. I could have had a baby in that time. LOL. NOT.

      This winter hasn’t been to bad tho. We live in the snow belt near Owen Sound and the boys in my family are bummed about the lack of snow. I’m secretly happy dancing 🙂

      Happy New Year!
      Lynne xx

  27. Marti says:

    Hi Lynne,

    I am currently trying not to cheat on my 3 day detox…I cannot stand the luch smoothie (I should have added more water),, but I got my willpower back and I won’t cheat (I am, drinking green tea instead of the smoothie). I think I’ll drink (eat it like soup) the smoothie on the train ride back home so people can give me weird looks jejeje.

    Ok, I think I just needed to let it all out.

    The reason why I am writing a comment is to tell you that even though this is the only article that I read from your blog, I LOVE your blog!! You are hilarious. I love it!!


    • Hi Marti !

      I wasn’t too hot to trot on that lunchtime smoothie either. Blah. I agree, I added a TON more water and then got creative too…

      … eating the veggies, making soup, anything …

      I would have chewed the wallpaper off of the wall at one point if I didn’t do something about the craving to just chew real food.

      Thanks for writing in and happy detox girly girl !!


      • Marti says:

        Hey Lynne,

        I finished my 3 day detox (yayyy, real food is coming!!).
        I lost 2 kg (4.4 lbs) and I am more motivated than ever to re-eat healthier. Yayyyy.

        • Woot woot !!!

          Congrats !!!

          Isn’t it incredible how you crave healthy, after you really go for healthy? Cray cray, but true.

          Go celebrate (with a green smoothie) LOL.

  28. Naomi says:

    Hello Lynne,
    I just started the Dr Oz 3 day detox cleanse and was directed to your blog while looking at reviews. YOU MADE MY DAY!!!!! I laughed so hard reading your blog. I almost choked on my lunchtime wanna be smoothie. Thanks for the laugh 😀

  29. Christine says:

    I just read your review on the three day cleanse as I’m thinking if doing it. OMG you are hysterical!!

    • You go girl !!! It is faboosh. You will have tons of energy after it’s done and feel like a wind up doll of awesomeness !

      Mwah !!
      PS. thanks for the compliment. You just made my day.

      Lynne {Kiss,kiss}

  30. Gina says:

    This review is fantastic! I just completed my cleanse and blogged about it at http://www.mylittlesomethingsweet.com/2014/03/31/dr-oz-3-day-detox-cleanse-review/

    I am not nearly as funny as you, but I share what worked for me and I linked back to this page.

    Thanks again for your honesty…this was great!

  31. […] and these substitutions gave me the opportunity to do so within my budget. I also followed some sage advice I found while searching for reviews and didn’t put the celery into the smoothies. Lynne Knowlton […]

  32. Imen says:

    I’m going to give this cleanse a go! I mean 3 days will be easy right? My only concern is that I need a new blender…I SO wish we could find the Blendtec here in Ireland…or even a magic bullet! Will report back with results. Love the vid too! xx

    • It wasn’t tooooo bad Imen 🙂

      Whaaa? you can’t get the blender in Ireland? No fair. To tell you the truth, the blender really does make a difference on the texture & blend of the smoothies.

      Do you have a juicer? They are GREAT!!! I use mine every single day for a green juice. YUM.


      • Imen says:

        Lynne, I do have a great juicer. Can you juice everything instead and just add the seeds etc? I usually add super greens powder to my juice, it doesn’t really dissolve all that great but it works.
        I have made that Glowing Green smoothie in my blender and it was disgusting and chunky! Will look for a similar quality blender here…I am handing in several (buttery!) chapters today and would love to cleanse before jumping back into recipe testing again! Mwah!!!

        • From a taste/texture perspective .. I would totally juice it in lieu of a good blender.

          You can always just eat the ingredients too (I didn’t look at it as cheating, I looked at is surviving) LOL.

          This whole cleanse is a GREAT jumpstart to eating healthy, cleansing & losing weight. I think your plan with juicing is fab.


  33. Barbie says:

    Watched your interview with Denise on “how to be a kickass blogger” Very helpful. Thank you.

  34. Lynne,
    No matter how cute and funny you are I am not doing a cleanse. I like to eat too much! Plus I’m a sissy.

    I love your house. It looks like it should be on a beach!


  35. Deborah Williams says:

    Lynne, you are so funny! I stumbled accross your blog while googling Dr. Oz’s 3 Day Detox for comments. I did the detox last year and followed it to the letter. I lost 10 pounds! So, when I realized that I had gained 15 pounds since last fall (lots of dinners, traveling, holidays, vacation in San Franciso) you get the picture. I had a conversation with my sweat pants and we decided it was time to do something. I am on day 3 (I’m following it to the letter again) and I feel great. I just want to add that the lunch smoothie tastes like a word that I dare not say on here. But I have been forcing it down because I’m too lazy to do anything else. I also only drink half of it; I save the rest for the next day. It is too big. If I do this again I will follow some of your suggestions. You are a funny and entertaining lady. Keep up the good work.

    • Thanks Deborah for the awesome comment !

      It sounds like you rocked the 3 day cleanse ! I agree, that lunch smoothie was not all that and a bag of chips. I found it to be HUGE as well. I literally cut the ingredients in half and then added a lot of extra water too. I even added ice cubes after that. Then, and only then, did I truly enjoy it. (and the odd cheat by eating the food instead of putting it in the blender)

      Did you find that you were bloated by day two as well? It is unbelievable how great it works tho. I MISS the lavender baths and good reading.

      Cheers !
      Lynne xx

      • Deborah Williams says:


        We have a joke in my family about my non-existent bowel movements. I never felt bloated at all. My boyfriend on the other hand was bloated after the first two drinks the first day.

  36. patty daczewitz says:

    Your such a funny bunny, I made it through the first day cleanse pounding headache reading your blog made me feel better in knowing that I wasnt the only one experiencing the (I’m in hell factor) I had a cracker before bed and I’m ok with that. I start day two today and I’m hoping it gets easier. I usually eat pretty healthy and I usually do not dwell on what I can’t have but I have thought about every butter laden, sugar loaded, crunchy salty delicious food I can’t have at least 2,890 times over the last 24 hours. I hope I can endure. Thanks again for making me laugh when I’m so f-ing miserable. It has made me want to endure another day of what I like to call, Dr. Oz’s detox hell. P.

    • You can do it Patty ! Hang in there.

      Here is another wee tip to help you. Do you drink coffee ? I know the cleanse says to wipe out coffee for 3 days. I didn’t. I’ve done cleanses before and the headache made it HELL. eeeek.

      I had one cup of coffee every day. I didn’t get the headaches. Woot woot!

      The finish line of this cleanse is worth it ! It really does jump start you into eating healthy and losing some weight too.

      Take those cucumbers and crunch crunch crunch.

      I’m cheering you on !
      Lynne xx

  37. Kaitlyn says:

    Just found your blog today! Such beauty…

    I just had to comment on this post because I did the same exactly cleanse after the holidays were over, AND I ended up with almost the same results. I love smoothies, but by the middle of day 2, I just had to chew something, so I would eat the smoothie ingredients instead. Same thing, right? I also found it helpful to freeze ALL of the fruits, which gives it a much better smoothie texture. I mixed mine in the Magic Bullet, which I think worked much better than a blender and made the smoothie nice and thick. And I totally agree about the Coconut Oil – I love the taste, but the consistency…ugh.
    At the end I lost my holiday bloat and some water weight, but it definitely left me motivated to start eating more healthfully!

    My family thought I was nuts, but now I know that someone else was going through this with me…

    • Hi Kaitlyn

      So great to here that I am not alone. For real. You craved CHEWING things too? Oh my word. I would have chewed the wallpaper off of the walls at some point. I was THAT desperate 🙂

      I am continuing with a smoothie a day and/or a juice a day from the juicer to keep the healthy mojo going. It is great how the whole cleanse kick starts that. You are so right about that.

      Thanks for writing in !

      Happy healthy New Year to you


  38. Lee-Anne R says:

    Love….love your little blogs Lynne! We touched base over a year ago….former friends with Joanne K & Rob C…..member!? No matter…inspiration, you are…you go girl!!! Time for me to get back at it too!!!
    Currently juiceless in N.Van


  39. Geno says:

    We just started the cleans this morning. seems to a portion size issue however. I pre-made the lunch smoothie, so we could both take with us and a single portion is HUGE! also wondering about the peels as part of the blend. like 1/2 a lime..with peel? without peel? cucumber? with peel? without peel? what did you or anyone following this do? I’ll report back!

    • Hi Geno,

      Good point ! I forgot to mention that. I found the portion sizes of the smoothies to be huge too. I couldn’t even finish them all the time. What you could do is make the one portion size, and then add water or coconut water to share it for two people. The smoothies are so thick, it is super easy to add the liquid and spread it out between the two of you.

      Lime … if it is organic, I sometimes leave some of the peel on, but I generally cut off a lot of it.

      Same with cucumber. Organic only if you leave the skin on. I peeled mine off because I didn’t like the taste of all the extra peel in the smoothie.

      The night time smoothie (with the cayenne pepper) has some kick to it! I loved the heat of it !

      The morning smoothie – you could maybe add an extra banana if two of you are drinking it 🙂

      Cheers !!!

  40. Tara says:

    Hoookay…. so you had a smoothie for every single meal? Oh wow – you have got so much dedication, lady. I’d fold like a cheap lawn chair by the end of the first day.

    Good for you! I am in awe of you!

    • Believe me Tara, I wanted to fold many times – but I knew I’d be mad at myself if I did 🙂 LOL.

      I did get desperate by day 3 and made kale chips in the oven instead of putting it in my smoothie. I’m now addicted to kale chips. I can’t believe I just said that in my outside voice.


  41. Janet says:

    Inspiring! Started a “green cleanse” yesterday. Only got one day done. I had to bake french rolls for my daughter and it blew the whole green fast apart. I’m convinced my whole world would change if I had the right juicer. I would be able to resist homemade bread…if only I had a vitamin mixer. But, how do I know the bread is edible if I don’t sample? I do it for the children, for the love of the children. I sample because I’m a good mom…………………….ugg

    • Not gonna lie Janet,

      A good juicer makes a HUGE difference. The Omega juicer is a great one because it doesn’t ‘cook’ the veggies when it spins/juices. It’s also super easy to clean. It juices wheatgrass and ginger like it’s nobody’s business.

      Wheatgrass has been great to take. Super actually. It’s my dope 🙂

      Lynne xx

  42. Donna Frasca says:

    Wow there’s a lot of information here! Going back to the smoothies, tried it for a while last summer and just used my blender, kale, fruit du jour and coconut almond or soy milk to thin out. I also used Agave sweetener if needed. It was pretty good, easy to make and I did’t have to buy a juicer. I know it’s different but the health bennies are still there … and yes, your candles look like boobs! (•)(•)

    • Very cool Donna !

      This cleanse says that you can use a regular blender, but I find the heavy duty blenders like Blendtec and Vitamix really do make a huge difference in the texture/taste of the smoothies.

      Having said all that, any blender will do if it means that you are getting those veggies in your tummy 🙂


  43. Dee Dee says:

    I definitely came here to find out about smoothies, then realized I was inhaling a bag of popcorn so I immediately put down the bag and started to read all over again. But my fingers are still guilty of trying to get back into the bag. So….

    I’ll come back tomorrow when my fingers aren’t trying to betray me. Selfish fingers.

  44. Linda Leyble says:

    Hey Lynne…I don’t know if I am up for the cleanse…but I too ate my way into at least a 10 pound gain so I have to do something…like soon…like now! More veggies for me (yes – why can’t spinach look as tempting to eat as cheesecake!!) And…of course, the dreaded “go back to the gym, seriously!”

    I have a quick question for you that I hope you can answer. I know that your sister-in-law is an Aweber proponent. Do you use that to collect your email names and to send along the ebook? I didn’t see it in the web address when I was downloading it.

    Can you let me know what you use and how you did it? I would like to have more people subscribing to my blog with a free ebook download.



  45. Kate says:

    For pete’s sake, of course ! Can I live in your tree house with the squirrels… ?
    and QUIT drinking that nasty green stuff………. makes me want to puke just thinking about it…. ! ! ! If you need to lose a bit of weight and feel good at the same time go on South Beach Diet for a while, Stage one gets rid of your sugar craving and its waaaaaay better that that Oz thing. You can eat like a pig…. real food —and still lose weight… ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

    • Oh Kate you crack me up !

      I will check out the South Beach Diet.

      To tell you truth, I’m quite slim already (don’t hate me for saying that LOL) but I like the smoothie/juicing on a daily basis so I can get a ton of veggies and fruit in one drink.

      Normally, I couldn’t eat that many veggies. Gross. I like to disguise them in a drinky-pooh and trick myself 🙂

      I think I should start spiking them with rum next 🙂

      Thanks for your AWESOME ideas!!

  46. lisa thomson says:

    Congrats on your cleanse, Lynne! I have zero self discipline so I won’t even try this. I eat pretty healthy but I would die on smoothies for 3 days. In fact my last tweet was this “Who am I kidding? I’m not going to change. #ResolutionsSuck

    I’ll check out your Google+ interview. I’m on there too and will add you. But I honestly, don’t really get the whole google+ etiquette.

    • I hear ya sista !

      One thing I did learn from this cleanse was some coolio recipes that I continue to do now.

      I do one green smoothie or juice per day and it keeps my motor runnin’. I am definitely a motor mouth now 🙂

      Google Plus : I agree, it seems complex at first. I have been following a bunch of people on Google Plus that actually teach it. It is quick little videos and blog posts that have been SUPER helpful. You could try that 🙂

      Much love, my friend !

  47. Kate says:

    Wow….. You need help, FAST ! I am shipping you a pecan pie overnight ! ! ! !

  48. Carolyn Morton says:

    I’m only commenting because I want to see my name in that cool font! You are a goodie for sharing about the detox. Love your cheats to get through it! Keep smiling! xoxo

    • Carolyn,

      Now you know… the secret is OUT !! This is why I reply to every single comment on the bloggy. I feel like I can print so well. LOL.

      I swear, it’s addictive. I think it would be even better if we could eat pie AND type with this font at the same time though 🙂

  49. AwesomelyOZ says:

    I love this – I’ve been looking into the Dr. OZ 2-week diet and I’m hoping to do it in February. 😀 Glad you were able to jump start your health kick in the right direction! Happy Friday Lynne! -Iva

  50. Jo Lynn Deal says:

    This is so hilarious! I love the OMFG# faces. You’ve done awesome homework finding a way for us all to trick ourselves into doing something that is good for us. I’ll do it, damn it.

    • You go girl !!!

      Hey Jo… did you see this water cleanse that I wrote about on the bloggy too?


      The reason I mention it… is

      1. Dr. Oz thinks we need to drink so much water for that poopy part 🙂

      2. I dunno about you, but I HATE water.

      3. The Jillian Michaels water recipe in that blog post makes water taste freaking delicious. I could drink GALLONS of it when I mix it with the lemon and cranberry etc. I love it.

      I can’t believe I just said I love water.

      Mwah !

  51. Suzanne says:

    I started this cleanse last year, it’s a good one but I got through day 2 and backslid. I am going to do it again this year but in the spring I think. Winter and ice cold smoothies are hard for me. Congrats on losing 5 and stickin to it, you are a better and more disciplined woman than I. That said a timely post I really need a cleanse. I always cheat though and have coffee, can’t help it.

    • Hiya Suzanne,

      Want to know something cray-cray? I cheated there too. Funny how I forgot to mention that. LOL.

      I had a wee cup of coffee every morning. I KNEW that I would be a you-know-what without one. I knew that I would be more likely to stick to the rest of the cleanse if I could do that.

      Shhhh. But it worked !


      • Suzanne says:

        Honestly, I don’t care if I drink coffee truth be told I do it for the weight loss not the cleansing aspect. Thats totally not PC I know and cleansing is good, really good but I must have coffee every day, it’s a requirement.

  52. Martina says:

    Haha. This post made me laugh. A lot. Don’t stop Lynne (can’t stop, won’t stop!) it’s magical. .Ohhhhh smoothie cleanses. The fibre, how bloaty and cranky it make can make you. Only one thing can make me crankier than a crippled crocodile and that’s unwanted crunch in a green smoothie. Kale, why you gotta play me that way? You’re so full of good things and are pretty much the 2013 poster child for superfoods and I want to say I love ya anywhichway but the whole Dr.jekyll /Mr.Hyde thing you pull on my green smoothies, turning them into viscous swamp-watery bitter green monsters of doom full of nasty kale-flotsam is just not cool.

    Baby spinach for liiiiiiiiiiiiife! ;p

    • Martina ! So true !!

      That used to happen to me when I had a regular blender. A really good blender or juicer won’t do that. Whew.

      I learned another little trick on this cleanse to make myself love KALE. I can’t believe I just said LOVE and KALE in the same sentence.

      Kale chips!! T’die for !

      Cut out the stem, put on a baking sheet, drizzle with a bit of coconut oil and sprinkle with salt and cayenne pepper.

      300* for about 8 minutes or so.

      I dare you not to eat the whole crunchy tray of them.

      Yum. Yum. Yum.

  53. Craig says:

    Okay, Babe….
    I’m cleansing because I’m trying to find those abs
    I think I have… but I really know it’s because I’m
    full of ( S. with a hit ). Slow and steady always
    works when cleansing, remember who one the race… Oops, gotta
    go, time for a Dreamsicle Smoothie… Yummy…
    Keep smilin’

  54. Honey. While I have been ice-stormed inside my house eating continuously, you have been detoxing 5 lbs away. Actually the ice storm ended a long time ago, it’s just the eating that continued. And I have been getting healthier, I swear. I switched from egg nog to lattes, that’s healthier right? Now you’re making me think I have to drink green stuff. Sigh. At least you took one of those green drinks and made it look like a salad. That’s pure genius.

  55. Danica says:

    You are just lucky that cleanse did not have beets in it!!! BEETS are horrible in smoothies/juices.

    I tried a one day cleanse (which was meant to be 3 days) but after 2 hours in the car trying to get home I ate the first thing I saw….lesson learned – cleanse in the summer time.

    Also, did you make your juices ahead of time?? I drank my first 4 because they were all available but regretted not making the dinner one – hence coming home and just eating the sweet potato rather then making it in the dinner drink.

    Great Post Lynne!!

    • Hey Danica,

      Good point ! What I would do, is start the cleanse over a weekend or a couple of days when you aren’t working. When you return back to work, take your pre made juices with you then. You can have 4 a day, but I found that the three smoothies kept me quite full.

      Beets : I would have agreed with you last year… because I think beets taste like DIRT. Then, one day, Michael snuck a beet in my juice. When they are juiced or blended raw, they are SWEET!

      If you have a juicer… try carrots, apples, beets and ginger all together and see what you think. I think it’s ahhhhmazing. After that, we started to add in greens into our juices and smoothies and worked up to a 60% greens to 40% fruits ratio.

      It will give you a jump start and you will zoom zoom to work. Save an extra amount for that ride home to get you by. xx

    • Ramon says:

      Hi there! 🙂 I absolutely love this water! I do have one question… You said in an earlier reply, that it was okay to drink it for a few days… Here’s the (dumb) question. Is it okay to drink longer than that? I’m not a big fan of just plain water,and I am learning a lot about detoxification, that is why I started mywaterdetox.com so I could honestly see myself replacing my old boring water with this! I just want to make sure it’s okay to drink on a daily basis before I do.