Laundry.  Ohhhh Laundry. It’s one of those things… it doesn’t matter how fast you clean it… it just keeps coming back.

Like Ground Hog day.

Bastard.

Laundry has nasty laundry sex; multiplies and spawns dirty laundry babies.  Constantly.

It has dirty, unprotected laundry sex with oodles of grime and dirt.   Gross.

Laundry causes good people to drop bad f-bombs {under their breath.} Or out loud.  Both work for me.  How about you?

When laundry starts to overflow out of the basket ~ all hell can break loose.

That…my friends, is an official laundry mountain.  Welcome to my world.  And I want out.

STAT.

For the record… I want a glass of wine on the way out.  Because I like to be entertained while running away from laundry.

When laundry calls my name… and I want to call back to it:  efffffff OFF 

I have better things to do.  Like eat milk duds.

Laundry is boring.  Blah blah blah boring, don’tcha think?

Until now.

There is only one advantage to doing laundry.

The money in the pockets.

I have four kids, a dog, a hubby (aka another kid) and three barn cats that think they rule the treehouse.  Have you ever tried to tell a cat what to do?   It doesn’t work.

I normally find rocks, twigs, frogs, bubble gum and iPods in the laundry.  Yes.  I wash those too.  Like an idiot.

Let’s get to the money part.  That’s the best part.

Pay attention now.  This is important.   It is important for every soul on earth to have a stash of cash.  Do I need to scream those words or bang on my computer keys with CAPS LOCK?  Don’t make me do the nasty caps lock.

Rainy day cash is where it's at.

Rainy day cash = splurge money.

Splurge money = anything you wouldn’t normally buy.  Like ever.  Until now.

With a stash, the impossible becomes possible.

Make a goal.  A money goal. What do you want to do or buy ?  Pick something that you would never ever never…Taylor Swift never ever never ….buy or do.

Visualize it.

Your laundry money is going to make it happen for you.

And saving money by making homemade laundry soap is going to get you one step closer to that goal.

You’re welcome.

How do I do it?

For me…. the impossible became possible with a road trip to Robert De Niro’s Greenwich Hotel in TriBeCa, NYC.

There is no way on Gawds green earth that I could typically afford to stay at the Greenwich.  But now with laundry money I can do it.  I have traveled to the Greenwich and just chilled like a freak rock star.

Staying at the Greenwich presents a challenge for me.  The challenge of : pretend to be normal and not jump up and down in idiotic glee when you see a famous face.

It takes massive effort on my part to pretend I’m calm, cool and collected.  Massive.

So I just sit in the Greenwich hotel lounge and sip Pinot and try to pretend that when Russell Crowe walks by… it’s all good.

Inside voice : Don’t gulp your wine.  Don’t gulp.  Don’t.  Uh-hhooo.   Too late.

Dear Pinot Noir, you are a dim wit.  Everything is your fault.

Are you wondering what Pinot Noir has to do with making homemade laundry soap?  Me too.

The Greenwich hotel carries a brand of soap, shampoo and candles made by Red Flower.

The red flower company has a tag line of :

A lust for life, a source of potent radiance and a deep belief in nature.

Any company with a tag line like that is a friend of mine.  Red Flower is officially my bud.  Okay, they have no idea who I am… but I am in love with them.

Hellooooo….that soap smells like Heaven on earth.  Homemade laundry soap NEEDS to smell like that!!   So, of course, I steal from the hotel room buy some when I am in NYC.  I also eat every single candy in the room.  I return home looking like a fat kid in a candy store with muffin top….. but my hair and body smell good.

Homemade Laundry Soap.

Geesh, Lynne.

Focus.

Homemade Laundry Soap Recipe :

4 cups Borax

4 cups Super Washing Soda (made by Arm & Hammer)

4 cups oxiclean (optional & great for extra cleaning power)

1 container Downy unstopables (optional for extra scent)

1-2 bars of Fels Naptha or grated soap.   You can use any soap that turns your crank.

Store in sealed container.

Use 2 tablespoons per load. (I totally cheat and use more).

I have no idea how much the cost is per load, but it is inexpensive.  Definitely value priced.

Cheap.

Cheap laundry soap.

Very inexpensive laundry soap.

Cheap cheap. Value priced.  Call it what you want.  You will be shocked at how inexpensive it is.

This laundry soap recipe will almost make you want to do laundry.  Uhm.  I said almost.  Don’t get too carried away.

My scientific official review of handmade laundry soap :

*   I lied about the scientific part.  I didn’t even look at the labels/ingredients.  These ingredients could have exploded when mixed together.  Like I cared.  Bye bye laundry.

*   The grated bar of soap is divine and fine, but if you really want a great kick of smell in your laundry, Downy unstopables sure make it smell YUM.

* I had never even heard of Fels Naptha before. What the heck is that stuff?  Some people just use ivory soap as an alternative.

Now go forth and conquer that laundry pile.

Life is so exciting.   And clean.  And sexy.

Just the way we like it.

Right?

Right.

Does this mean we are easy, cheap and sexy?

Yes, that makes YOU a floozy.

xx

PS.

In case you missed it, Design Mom interviewed me about our home and family.  I was sober for that one.  Imagine that?!  Waaahierd.  I know.  The truth is… I got right down to the nitty gritty of raw life & what I have learned along the way.  Want to read it?  Here you go: Living with Kids by Lynne Knowlton.